In recent times, we’re a witness to Indian marriages failing and divorce rates reaching a next level peak. Of course, we’re not much alarmed by it unless we get to know that most of the Indian marriages are failing from the very beginning, which makes us opine on what maybe wrong with the country. We’ve always known marriage as a different connection that people have with their partner and from ages we’ve been admiring the couples who fought everyone just to stay together. This isn’t symbolised just through the Gods but also through many movies entertaining the audience through stories of love bird finally reuniting after struggling to get together despite harsh conditions and a million more haters. We’ve grown with the story of Ram-Sita, we went on to learn about the wife who got her husband back from the god of death- Yamraaj. We’ve seen movies like Kuch Kuch hota hai, Yeh Jawani hai Deewani. Doesn’t that thrill you? It surely does and that is an indication that everything is sorted till the fine line which differentiates unmarried couples from married ones.
So is there anything wrong with Indian marriages? Is it correct to put the miraculous bond at stake because of the increasing divorce rates? It’s better for people to get a deeper view into what actually causes that friction after marriage which take the shape of a spark, leaving the marriage into vain.
- Lack of understanding Clearly there is a lack of understanding between people now-a-days and that is the sole reason why many Indian marriages fail. People have simply forgotten how to put themselves in someone’s show and then take decisions or analyse situations. Today, fights are not because of some reason but because people are not willing to hear the other person even when the other person might be saying the same thing as the first person. Now, couples have become so self-centred that they’ve forgotten how to understand. It’s okay to be busy and tired, it’s okay to be wanting time to rejuvenate but not accepting to hear someone or not listening to someone fully and starting to make suggestions in between is clearly not okay. For all married people out there, it’s understandable that you’re having ego issues now. It’s understandable that you might be tired to iron out matter now but for once, for once over a table of food, sit down calmly, let the other person finish, finish yourself, express everything and for once, try and empty your mind with your thoughts first so as to be able to digest and comprehend what the other person is trying to say. It might benefit both of you.
- Egoistic Behavior This one’s another big issue that’s killing marriages in India. Now the problem is, people are unable to draw a fine line between what self-esteem demands and what ego demands. Self-esteem is important, so is ego but when you replace self-esteem and ego with ego, the result is obviously a fight where none of the couple members is willing to make an effort to chalk out stuff. Let me quote an example. Let’s assume there is a couple and they had some sort of misunderstanding, let’s say over valuing one another. Now, what happens is, instead of sitting together and talking, they both ignore one another as much as they can and this create ego. Now both of them want to talk, they want to sort but their ego doesn’t let any of them take any step and as a result, mind feels that the other person simply doesn’t care. This is a plague and this needs treatment. People have become stubborn and kiddish in their approach. They’ve stopped behaving maturely which requires understanding and the willingness to put in efforts and not dramatizing over petite issues. In the end, both of them know they want to be together but if they keep on hampering their relation and not making efforts to save it, it’ll die one day. People believe that they’re the best and that they’re never wrong but it’s okay to accept mistakes. It is okay to admit fault and save a relation rather than being egoistic and missing your partner later.
- Stress kills anyone Stress isn’t something that pertains to killing of only marriages but also a pretty good reason why people are dying and there is no one to cure this big disease. Well, yes, it is true that things are going down and that work is hectic and that money makes you dance for it all day long and that you cannot live a fairy tale love life with the realities of life in front of you, just waiting for you to look at them so they can shoot an arrow that kills your love life. Well, the competition is difficult but managing time is the key. Let’s understand it through an example. A homemaker is waiting for her husband, who is busy working at office and when he gets back home tired, he is not left with any energy to hear the complaints thrown at him by his wife. Now, wife needs time and at the same time, the husband wants time alone. This creates clashes and these clashes very well lead to signing of the divorce papers. What is necessary is to understand the situation and act accordingly. The husband, instead of getting angry must hear the wife and the wife, instead of pouring in complaints should try and talk about something peaceful that makes both of them feel better.
- Acceptance All the points discussed above relate somehow to how couples should behave essentially and do not focus on the external environment that’s equally responsible in plaguing Indian Marriages. In India, people are not tolerant towards inter-caste Indian marriages. People are also somehow not tolerant towards love marriages, especially in most of the under-developed parts of the country. What happens is, people don’t accept these marriages and even threaten to kill those who actually dare to get along with someone whom they actually love. This actually creates a situation where people are fearsome to marry, they marry someone else, they still love the other person and things don’t work out and as a result, we get another failed marriage. People should actually start valuing how important love is and that marriage is just a bond and that people shouldn’t be threatened over it. If people become tolerant and start accepting things, we can have many more successful marriages to see.
India has actually seen people marrying and then getting tied for years unlike now when separation is just another element in everyone’s life. If India really has to remove this plague that’s killing Indian Marriages, then Indian people need to understand the reasons of failure and be active enough to take steps to promote love. It’s not hard to keep a relationship working, it just needs time and love. Nurture it like a plant and you get flowers or stop looking at it and you get carcass. It’s the choice that now people have to make and the choice that would determine their future relation.