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3.5 year old kid gets angry easily and shouts

Asked by Male, 36, Married
My kids 3.5 years become angry for every issue and shouts for 15 to 30 minutes. ..the more we try to convince the more he shouts and is very painful to me ...
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Chandni Gandhi
Counselling Psychologist

Dear Parent

It is extremely important to understand that anger is just expression, where child is trying to communicate something to adults, there is no other way of expressing anger that he has learnt so far.

Here to begin with you need to understand rather than explain.

There are few observations you need to make for the same

1) Does this anger outbursts take place in all the setting child might be present in, like school, home and any other place he visits day to day basis? it is consistent throughout?

2) list down all the Issues's/ triggers for which he reacts in this way?

3) are there any other conditions along with this that he/she has, medical or developmental that you may have skipped to consider?

4) is the behaviour harmful to child or anyone else?

5) is his behaviour impacting on his functioning, with other kids, at home etc?

Answers to all these will give much better clarity on what is it that he/she is facing

some of basic things you can try at this point are as follows:

1) Do not react on child's reactions, i understand that this might be difficult, to stay calm when child is angry and shouts, but reacting on it elevates his anger, and also reinforces this kind of reaction.

2) if there is any following demand by which he stops acting like this, don't give in to it, if you give in child learns that way of getting things done.

3) avoiding triggers, once you know what all makes child behave in this way, you can avoid these situations

hope this helps :)

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