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Attracted to another boy despite having a loving relationship

Asked by Female, 17, Single
I have a boyfriend whom I love. Things were really fine between us but one day I went to a school for a competition there was a boy who was behind me. I was not interested and took the whole thing in a fun way. Then I meet him again in another competition where I assume really conscious about the way he looked at me, talked to me. It's a two day event on the 2 day when he was late I was very much wanting him to come and then he came. He told me that he had to talk to me and was like "tumhe rukna parega mujhe baar karna Hai toh tumhe rukna parega" the moment I called him for a work he was do happy Dat he was smiling. Thay very day he sent me a friend request and I accepted d moment he Msgd i did not know my boyfriend called me up and told me wn he asked whether I was in a relationship my bf replied no.at night I dreamt about him and the very next day I started crying like nythin d whole day I was very guilty as I thought about another guy I told my bf everything we sorted everything out but deep down I m still guilty I cry become sad once nd happy once I don't know wat to do I love my bf please help
Answer
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Madhuri Mohan
Counselling Psychologist

Hi, I can understand the guilt you are currently feeling but let me tell you that it is perfectly normal for you to find other people attractive in spite of being in a relationship. The positive thing you should see is that you have discussed this with your boyfriend and sorted it out so that your relationship is not affected. As far as feelings of guilt go, just know this that people make mistakes, It can be because of various reasons you found this boy attractive and fantasized about him. Understanding the reason behind why you did what you did ( and remember you did not do anything wrong) will help you deal with the guilt better. Managing your emotions will become easier once you understand why you feel the way you feel. If you feel that you need to discuss this further, please feel free to send me a message. :) 

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