We take our user's privacy very seriously and will never, ever expose any personal details. All personal indentifiable information on these questions here are carefully removed and published only after getting permission from user.

Boyfriend is in a committed relationship with another girl

Asked by Female, 24, Single
I was in a long relationship till last year(4 years). After which it broke up and left me shattered. This year after starting my post grad I have fallen in love yet again and to much stronger extent. The problem is he is already committed to someone else. Even with this information we both couldn't help but going forward with our relationship. At times when situation became such that confrontation happened, he said he doesn't know what to do. He says and he does love me but he is also in relationship with someone else and every time a call or anything happens he puts her first obviously. We have been in this thing for 5 months and his existing relationship is for 2 years. I don't have the courage to break up with him and I am also getting hurt every time any talk related to his existing someone is there. I don't want to be the other girl.
Answer
Thumb 341
Kiran Lakhani
Counselling Psychologist

Hi,

You yourself have answered the question you are asking, "I don't want to be the other girl."

I understand it is difficult, I understand it is devastating. I would ask you just a simple question, "What are YOU doing about it?"

It is difficult but not impossible. You are feeling hurt everyday, but if you decide to breakup you will feel hurt once and for all. You can give your life another chance.

I understand with the information you have provided that you two have had conversation about it and the boy responded with "He doesn't know what to do", and with what I understand is you have asked him to break the previous relationship and he hasn't done that, right? He gives preference to that girl, right?

It is a tough decision, but remember to look at life 5 years from now. If you remain in the relationship as it is now, what will happen in 5 years and if you decide to break up what will happen.

The answers will help you decide and implement the decision. It will be tough but believe in yourself and the goodness of life. Things will get better.

I hope this helps.

All the best.

Speak with a Relationship Counselor today
  • Anonymous and Convenient. Free Trial Available.
  • Send Unlimited Messages to your dedicated Counselor.
  • Book a Phone Session