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Depressed after being blocked by romantic interest

Asked by Female, 21, Single
i was in a relationship 1 year ago wid my best frnds frnd he was quite good but later on he didnt loved me he jst wanted my money. when i went to my village he cheated on me i saw his pics but then too i was wid him he used to keep me asking money always and i gave him bt after my last year exams i got an job and i had a training in chennai . i broke up wid him vn i was in chennai because the condition was worse between us i met a guy in my training and i started to fall for him but i came to know that he had a girlfrnd and he was serious on her later that he proposed me bt i asked him u hav ur gf na he said that they dnt contact each other they are in relation jst for name . i came in relation wid him we were together for 1.5 months after dat i got shifted in mumbai and he went to bangalore bt nw he saying that i was fake and he dnt love me anymore he blocked me on watsapp facebook and truecaller also i donno what to do i still miss him and i had a sex wid him 1st time. now i am jst depressed tired of my life . plz help me
Answer
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Madhuri Mohan
Counselling Psychologist

Hi, I can understand what you must be feeling right now. Giving yourself over to somebody completely and then when the relationship breaks can be very upsetting. Coming on this platform and sharing this may not have been easy. You should feel proud that you have taken such a bold step. from what you have shared, it seems like the guy does not want to contine the relationship. hence it is important that you accept this decision and try and move on. I know it wont be easy to do so, however, there are a few things you can do to cope with it and with time you will feel better. The first thing you should do, is accept that the relationship is over and accept the emotions you are feeling right now. It is okay to be sad, it is okay to cry and it is certainly okay to feel what you are feeling right now. Allow yourself to cry for a couple of days. There is nothing wrong in that, the sooner you get it out of your system, the better you feel later.Cut of contact. Do not try to get in touch with him, in a way him blocking you can be seen as a blessing in disguise as it will help you get over him better. Distance and time is what you need to get over someone, and you seem to have both in your hands, think of this as a positive sign. Learn to love yourself. The most important thing in life you need to understand is that "you are the most important person to you".  So by feeling depressed, how are you going to help you? think about your happiness and do things that make you happy, it can be meeting up with a friend, spending time with family, doing some shopping, etc. Anything that gives you pleasure and reassures you of the love you have for yourself, you should do those things. Challenge your negaitve thoughts. For every neagitve thought you have, try and make a challenging argument. For example: if you are feeling that you are a failure, you should instead give reasons to yourself of all the things you have achieved in your life to prove that you are infact a success! When you do these things, with time you will begin to feel better. If you feel that you want to talk to someone about your feelings and you need guidance in going through the above mentioned steps. Please feel free to send me a private message and together, we will help you overcome what you are feeling. :) Until then stay strong and keep smiling. 

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