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Depression, anxiety, low self-confidence due to premature ejaculation

Asked by Male, 31, Married
My elder brother have some psychological problem about sex. He made a physical relationship with her wife before marriage. At that time he experienced a premature ejaculation. He visited many doctots and takes anxiety medicine. His marriage was done. But now he always fells anxiety wheather erection occur or not. He sex with anxiety. As a result quick ejaculation occurs. This is now a mental problem. It hampered his professional life badly. Depression occurs every time. He shows anger with her wife. He lost his confidence. Plz help him.
Answer
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Madhuri Mohan
Counselling Psychologist

Hi, has your brother consulted a sexologist? these are specialists that deal issues that your brother is going through. Anxiety can cause premature ejaculation and may times even erectile dysfunction. I can suggest a few relaxation techniques that he can do on a daily basis to help him calm down. However, I would suggest enlisting the help of a professional as there is a deeper issue that is causing him anxiety and depression and it is important to resolve these issues before he can gain confidence again. Some relaxation techniques he can start with are: 1. Breathing exercises - there are a number of breathing exercises available on youtube that can help with anxiety and stress. doing these every night before going to bed and on waking up in the morning will see significant improvement in his overall mental state. Even when he is having sex, his breaths should be slow and controlled. This way he will focus more on his breathing and less on his performance. 2. Yoga and Excercise - Yoga is one of the best forms of exercise. It helps both body and mind become healthy. Try and follow a regime of 1-hour yoga every day morning or evening. This will increase his control and flexibility. 3. Positive affirmations - When he feels like things are going wrong and he is feeling depressed, especially during sex, ask him to repeat positive affirmations like "I am a strong healthy man" repeatedly to himself. He can do this along with the breathing every day. He can also get his partner to reinforce these words by getting her to say it to him every day and whenever they engage in sex. I hope these help. It is definitely advisable for your brother to seek professional help as getting to the root of the matter is  important to solve this issue permanently. Thanks :)  

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