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Ex-boyfriend wants to marry me but has issues with my friendships

Asked by Female, 23, Single
My ex-boyfriend left me for the Navy without warning. He called me again out of the blue and wanted to marry me but had issues with my guy friends.
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

Looks like your boyfriend left you while choosing his career over you. While he is entitled to make his choices in his life, it was not fair of him to leave you feeling abandoned. You both were in the relationship and you too were entitled to know the choices he makes, especially the ones that affect you and the relationship. While you were left to come to terms with it, he returns expressing to marry you but at the same time he is uncomfortable with your male friends, putting you in yet another unpleasant position.
Now, I understand that it must be a very confusing situation for you that has taken you by surprise. However, you do have a choice to make. What would help you get answers to your confusion is to think about whether you really want to get back with him. Is he and this relationship what you really want? Remember, wanting to get back given the history and fears of being single are not good reasons to get back. But if you love this guy and it is the relationship that is worth giving another chance, then go ahead and reconsider.
Next, before getting back, ensure that you both have worked out through the past unresolved issues such as him abandoning you. Consider moving ahead only after having come to terms with the issues of the past and have mutually set and agreed upon grounds for the future.
Now, with regard to him having issues with your male friends, looks like he is feeling insecure. You can either help him deal with his insecurity issues, or make a choice between him or your male friends, whichever choice you are comfortable making, keeping in mind the aftermath of the same.

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