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Feeling like a failure, lonely, unable to focus, loss of interest in life, stressed

Asked by Male, 17, Single
I am alone, I have no friends. It's not I look bad, but I am not also satisfied with my physique and tanned skin on my face, I feel unconfident. I even get in arguments with my parents as they say me loser. I am hating myself and losing my interest to live. Even the girl I loved just made advantage from my emotions and disappeared suddenly and left me in shock. I am 17 yrs old and I am doing BTech. I never feel satisfied and hence I am not able focus on my studies and then I waste time finding friends on dating website, where I get 0% success. Please guide, I am really stressed
Answer
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Madhuri Mohan
Counselling Psychologist

Hi there, feeling lonely and unloved is not nice and your feelings are understandable. From what you have shared with us, you feel that you are lacking in some aspects and that is why you feel that nobody likes you. The first thing you need to do is to learn to love yourself. Self-love is the appreciation of oneself and you need this to build the confidence to make friends. There are several different techniques you can follow to develop your self-love. However, this is a slow process and will require dedication and perseverance from your end. the first thing I want you to do is to create a table. In the first column, you will write all your negative qualities, the qualities that make you feel inadequate. In the second column, I want you to write all the positive qualities you have, The ones that you think makes you a better person. Once you fill in this table, reflect upon what you write and send me a message listing what you feel is your best positive quality and your worst negative quality. Then we can work on developing your self-love from there. Look forward to hearing from you. Until then remember, people perceive you the same way as you perceive yourself. So, start this journey of self-discovery and change the way you look at yourself. :) 

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