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Feeling lonely and sad after breakup with girlfriend

Asked by Male, 29, Single
I feel lonely and sad after my breakup with my girlfriend. She has made our mutual friends block me on social media.
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

Moving on from a relationship can indeed be a very difficult phase to go through emotionally. You are in pain over loosing someone. You take time to invest yourself in the relationship, build memories, make promises, see dreams together and then one day everything seems gone and your world is shattered.
After a breakup there is a sense of abandonment, there is a sense of terror about the future, there is disappointment... there is a process of going from “we” back to “me”. At such times we only feel the desperate urge to not experience the pain we are feeling but that is disrespecting the relationship. A heart ache demands and requires the dignity of having felt the pain of it to be able to overcome it eventually.
Often times what happens is when we engage ourselves in a romantic relationship, we make that one person our entire world. We end up closing or neglecting other doors of opportunity and leave space only for that one person. Now when that only door ends up being closed, we feel like we have nothing left and so end up feeling all alone. At such times it helps to remind ourselves of other people in our lives and to get back to them and work on making new memories. It is time to give yourself a break from your ex and think about your other loved ones in life. This task will make you realise that no matter one relationship has ended there are so many other lovely relations to cherish.
To begin dealing with loneliness, it would help for you to try this exercise:
1-Consider the problem
a- Describe the circumstance that made you feel lonely
b-did the actions of others contribute to your loneliness? If so, how?
2- Take an honest look at yourself
a-What role might you have played in your own feeling of loneliness?
3- Take charge
a-The loneliness that you may feel might not be your fault, but what would you say is your responsibility?
b-List two people you could reach out to this week
c-List two activities that you could engage in this week to help you deal with your loneliness
4- Consider the results
a-After a week, check your progress. Has your loneliness reduced? If not, what steps can you take to try again?
Dealing with breakup after effects on social media can also get tricky. An ex blocking or stalking or avenging through social media. It would help for you to read this article: https://www.askmile.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-social-media-after-a-breakup-the-dos-and-donts/

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