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Fiance always avoids talking to me

Asked by Male, 31, In relationship
My fiance is refusing to talk to me and finds excuses to not talk to me. What should I do?
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

You are engaged to get married. At a time where you both should be spending more time towards building a relationship, your fiance is, for some reason, not showing as much investment in you as you would prefer. I can understand that this must be hurting you. It is indeed concerning, specially at this stage of your relationship.

For starters, get clarity if he wants to be in this relationship itself or not. It is of no use putting in efforts into a relationship that the other does not want to be a part of in the first place. In whatever way possible, involve yours and/or his parents or family if needed, to get this message across him that you are expecting an answer and if not received, you shall have to reconsider the marriage.

Before setting on the journey of marriage, it is important to build a strong foundation of trust, open communication and to be on the same page about each other's roles, responsibilities, needs and expectations from the marriage. Without these in place the roots shall always remain shaky. To ensure this, it would help for you both to go for premarital counselling that would help you both establish a strong foundation of your marriage.

Try to find out if there was anything concerning that he is deeply troubled with due to which he might be behaving in this manner. Ensure him that you are now to be wedded to him and would like to be a part of his life too. If nothing works, you would have to make a call on whether this is something you ca live with or would you rather call it off. It is difficult to make such decisions, and yes they are not easy, but they need to be made.

Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

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