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Friend abuses girlfriend in public in anger

Asked by Female, 25, Single
How do I help my friend who has anger issues and who physically and verbally abuses his girlfriend in public?
Answer
Thumb sneha jayagopal
Sneha
Psychotherapist

Thank you for writing in. Firstly it's commendable that you want to do something about this rather than being party to the situation by being a silent bystander. Where your friend is concerned what the need of the hour is for an intervention. This cycle of rage resulting in abuse needs to be broken. For that your friend needs to realise that actions have consequences and so far he hasn't had to deal with the consequences. Your friend's girlfriend needs to set some strong boundaries and her safety is paramount. What is she doing to defend herself? Perhaps you and your friends can get together and sit your troubled friend down and tell him that he has a problem and his way of dealing with it is destructive. There's no way to sugar-coat this, so being direct and honest is the best way. He may not react favourably and might even get upset with you but tough love is what's needed. Remember that your intervening before your friend self-destructs repetitively makes you a good friend, even if it means hurting him with the truth and being disliked by him for it. He will appreciate your stepping in down the line. Please strongly mention that violence against women is a punishable offence as per the IPC.

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