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Got married a couple of months ago and finding very difficult in join family with in-laws.

Asked by Female, 29, Married

Hi I got married to my boyfriend couple of months back. Since the parents got involved to discuss marriage his family kept insulting me and my parents, whenever i discussed this with him he apologized and said next time this won't happen. Insults kept happening and he always said the same thing. I believed him. After marriage, 4th day his sisters taunted me.. He listened. It became the the continued process.. They taunted i cried.. He didn't utter a word no stands nothing although i urged him to speak..but he didn't do anything. One day finally when his sisters were saying bad things abt my parents i again asked him to stop them.. He didn't do anything so i replied them but his father supported them only and asked me to shut up. I have came to my parents place and Now i don't want to live there with them. I want to live with my husband but he is adamant he won't take a new home n i will have to live there only. Moreover he has also told everyone at his home that I am asking him to take a new home. He says he loves me but I m not sure. I don't know what to do.. Please suggest.

Answer

Sneha

Psychotherapist

Answered over 4 years ago

Dear writer, thank you for writing in. I understand that you are very upset with your husband because you expect him to stand up for you. It is unfortunate that your in-laws and you don't seem to get along and you feel disrespected and insulted by them. Can you tell me how you react and what exactly you say in such situations to your in-laws? Or do you keep quiet? Considering how upset you are, I understand it makes you question your husband's love for you. Ask yourself this, even though your husband doesn't speak for you, does he tell you that you are wrong? To understand your husband's nature can you tell me about his relationship with his family and with you as well? In matters like this it might be difficult for your husband to pick a side because it might add to the problem rather than solve it. Do you think you find it hard to stand up for yourself in these situations? Please do message back to continue our discussion. Regards.

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