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Had several broken relationships, strained relationship with family

Asked by Female, 25, Single
I am a 25 years old single woman depressed for nearly 7-8 years now. I had friends before. I have had 8 romantic relationships till now, and have been brutally dumped in each. This has broken me over time. I have become depressed, introvert, non trusting. I have lost all my friends. I live with my family and my professional life has also hit rockbottom. My relationship with my family has become strained over time. Now I find it impossible to carry on day to day work. I am afraid things will get worse with time. I want to disappear.
Answer
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Kiran Lakhani
Counselling Psychologist

Hi,

Hold on. Breath. Give yourself a breather. I understand things are really difficult but disappearing will not solve any issue.

Lets go over the issues you have pointed out:

1. Romantic Relationship

2. Losing Friends

3. Family Relationships

4. Work Affecting

Believe me this is a phase and things will change for better. You are not alone, many go through these and most of the times all of these issues get intermingled and creates more chaos in life.

What needs to be done is to figure out what is it that you want to work on first based on the priority and importance.

Relationships getting affected is the basic crux of the trouble you are feeling these days. Do you think this is the result of how you are feeling or the cause of how you are feeling? If this is the result, then there is something that you are doing which you need to look into.

I understand that you have had 8 relationships in 8 years, not sure if I am right in understanding this. I have a very simple example to share about this, its from movie Dear Zindagi, "to buy a chair, you choose from many options and choose only after sitting on it, checking the comfortability, its the same to find the right relationship", its okay to try and its okay to fail. Now you know at least 8 type of individuals that you do not gel with. You can also look into these 8 relationships and see if there is something common that you did in all relations. That is the aspect of you that you need to work on.

Similarly, look into your other relationships and change what you have been doing to change the result it gives you. I know it is not easy, I know you feel you don't know how to go about it. Take baby steps. One day at a time, one thing at a time and start solving these issues.

Whatever happens, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.

You can write in to us with further questions or to have more conversation or you can consult a psychologist for a personal intervention.

All the best.

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