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How do I improve my sexual relationship with my spouse?

Asked by Female, 22, Married
We have been married for two years but our sexual relationship is not good. How to improve it?
Thumb komal
Counseling Psychologist

Sexual need is as strong a need as thirst or hunger. We are sexual beings and it is only natural that when these needs are not met by our partners or if we are not able to fulfil them, we are filled with feelings of frustration that affects other aspects of our life and leave us angry, grumpy and unsatisfied or even devastated in life.

To begin with, identify what is causing the issue in your sexual life. Common reasons are:
physical issues
stress/ tension/ substance abuse/ performance anxiety/ self esteem/ body image issues
issues in inter-personal relationship/ comfort not built/ mood not set right
issues with environment/ privacy/ etc
traumatic sexual experience
fear of intercourse
socio-cultural influence/ incorrect sex education/ lack of appropriate information about sex
sexual act being believed to be a taboo
compulsive masturbation
unhealthy ideas/ fantasies about sex

Once you're able to identify the cause, cater to it. Visit a doctor to rule out physical symptoms causing sexual issues. Deal with interpersonal and self issues. Cater to the comfort, environment, mood and privacy. Communicate with each other about expectations of the experience and what the other enjoys and how you can provide it to them. Learn to be mindful of the act and take it at a pace that you both are comfortable with. Do not try to rush into it. Have healthy and realistic expectations of the experience. Get creative and explore to avoid monotony and boredom in the bedroom. If the issues still persist, consider going for sex therapy.

Here are a couple of articles to help you to begin with:

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