We take our user's privacy very seriously and will never, ever expose any personal details. All personal indentifiable information on these questions here are carefully removed and published only after getting permission from user.

How to bond with parents who have high expectations from me?

Asked by Female, 14, Single
I'm having some problems with my parents, I feel I am drifting apart. Nothing I do ever makes them happy anymore. I'm too scared to encounter them with my issues. They have very high expectations from me and I always fail to fulfill them. Please help me rebond with them
Answer
Thumb 71
Chandni Gandhi
Counselling Psychologist

Hi,I can understand amount of pressure you have due to dilemma between being who you are and trying to be who your parents expect you to be,  i can also understand there are times when parents tend to become critical, however if you have siblings and you can consider  taking their support. parents usually want their children to perform well in studies/work and feel proud of it, and sometimes expectations seems to be unrealistic and brings lot of stress in child's life.First thing you need to do is to share each others concerns and talk your heart out, high chances that they are not aware of the stress you are going through and may make changes to understand and accept who you are after various conversations. Faking oneself at home may become problem for you in long term, so be your natural self and  Accept yourself as you are.Spend some time with them where there are no conversations about expectations, for eg: introduce and initiate on new things like playing different  games with families, i am sure you will end up finding games and music according to everyones age and liking, or take them out for walk and strike conversation about movies or food, taking up topics which are not related to you, you may never know they might have similar views as yours.List down all the expectations they have and try to sort each one by one, sometimes you may end up realising that its just related to specific area of your life, eg: studies/work. if you know what you are dealing with, it becomes easier to handle.Hope, this helps and for further discussions on the same please share more details of what exactly are the kind of expectations you are dealing.

Speak with a Relationship Counselor today
  • Anonymous and Convenient. Free Trial Available.
  • Send Unlimited Messages to your dedicated Counselor.
  • Book a Phone Session