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How to deal with a dominating and egotistical husband?

Asked by Female, 30, Married
Hi my husband is really a egoistic person who never keeps relations strong. He is in no relation with my parents and sister from last four years due to some miscommunication and always force me to go to his parents place every month or so which I always do but unhappily. I spoke to him many times and he is very adamant to it.
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Madhuri Mohan
Counselling Psychologist

Hi, I understand your concerns, you are feeling neglected and unheard in the relationship. You feel that he is favouring his family over yours and forcing you to do the same. While there is a need for professional help in order to solve this matter, there are a few things you can do to help smoothen things temporarily. First, listening to his perspective and why he is adamant about not maintaining communication with your family. It is understandable that you may not like what he has to say about your family, but listening with an open mind is important even if you do not agree with his views. Once you open a channel of communication, he may also feel comfortable opening to you and also listen to your point of view when you talk. Second, try not to change him. Yes, you are unhappy at the moment and would like him to change his views and may be communicating the same to him. However, it is important to understand that by doing so, you may drive him further away from you and you may not be able to make him understand. Respect his decisions but at the same time explain to him that your views are also important and he must respect them as well. So if you are uncomfortable with meeting his family every month, talk to him and make him understand how you feel and ask him how it makes him feel. Come to an understanding and work things out So that both of you'll do not have to compromise. I would definitely suggest taking professional help, where both your husband and you can sit and sort out your issues with the help of a counsellor. Please feel free to get in touch if you need to discuss this further. Thanks. 

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