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Husband's cheating before marriage bothering me continously

Asked by Female, 29, Married
I found out my husband was cheating on me when we were dating and he says it was just a feeling and he is not guilty about it. After our marriage also he massged her about his feelings for her and still he can't get over her. When I asked him he said it was just drunk texting and I am feeling guilty about it. But again I found out he massged her few inappropriate pictures of her as she needed it after our marriage. He is constantly telling me to get over with it as I have not cheated you after marriage and okay about the fact he has done it when we were in a committed relationship. Please help me I want to be with him but he is not guilty about his behavior, its killing me. And he is not ready to give me any details so I am more stressed as things are not clear. We both are trying to behave normal but at the back of my head all these things are continuously going on and if I want to know about the fact he says if I still liked her I would have been with her.
Default user
Arunita Biswas
Clinical Psychologist

Dear User9948, I am very sorry to hear about the tragic turn of events in your life. I can understand that this is not what you were looking forward to in your marriage. I appreciate the fact that you could think of seeking help despite the pain you're in. I want to ask you a few questions in order to understand how things reached here. How long have you been married and how long did you court each other before marriage? Please also tell me a little more about your relationship before and after marriage. We will work this out and restore normalcy in your relationship. I look forward to hearing from you. Warm regards. Arunita Biswas

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