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Husband trusts his mother instead of me

Asked by Female, 28, Married
My husband trusts my MIL instead of me. I don't want to live with my in-laws.
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

Sounds to me like you're disheartened that your husband has not yet given you the importance that you seek from him in his life. You want him to trust you as much. After marriage, looks like he has not been able to welcome you and accept you as an equally important member in his family and this has left you feeling out of place and not warmly accepted. It's important that both spouses realise what marriage brings into their life and how it shall affect other aspects of their life. Their needs to be a balance of importance paced in both relationship with spouse as well as the other family members.

Without the basic pillar of trust in a marriage, it is hard to build a strong foundation upon it. I hear that it has reached beyond a point for you where you no longer want to live with your in-laws. Well, if you have made up your mind then what's left is to communicate that to your husband and suggest ways for the same.
However, if you think there might be other ways before moving on to that step, and if you're willing and ready to give it a try, what you could do is try to figure out the reasons behind your husband's lack of trust in you. Is there something you could do to make him trust you more? What is your husband looking for from you in this marriage? Was he raised by an over protective or over involved mother? If so, then that would explain his behavioural trait.
If you see this situation having an opportunity and a space for change, what you could do is talk to your husband about what;s bothering you. Communicate about what your and his expectations of this marriage are and what you both are willing to contribute in this marriage. It's important that you both are on the same age abut that. Once that is ensured, explore together mutually acceptable ways to cater to each of the issues in the marriage. It would help for you to talk to him about setting boundaries with in-laws and work more together towards building an exclusive relationship in the marriage.

https://www.askmile.com/blog/5-changes-indian-girls-should-expect-after-marriage-and-how-to-deal-with-them/
https://www.askmile.com/blog/get-married-ask-partner-questions/
https://www.askmile.com/blog/decision-making-marriage-relationship-not/
https://www.askmile.com/blog/in-laws-interfering-in-your-married-life/
https://www.askmile.com/blog/dealing-mother-law-hell/

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