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Husband using me for financial gain

Asked by Female, 24, Married

Hi ! My problem cannot be explain in single word . my husband loves me before marriage and he chat with me daily but he always told me to don't tell our relationship to our family . after some days my parents started to look for an alliance so I reveal my love to them they also understand and accept but my lover try to avoid me so I had told all our love story to his parents and they compel him to marry me and he also accepts me and we have a good relationship and we had one cute girl baby and she was 3 years old but now a days he always fight with me . his main problem is money .I am a BEd student so I am running an Tution center in my home itself and I have earn for my expenses.my husband is a well settled family even they have affection on money. So he always expecting my earnings for his small expenses but I neglect to bring my money so he got angry on me and fight with me.sometimes I may bring money that time he will show more love on me so I don't know how to make him to realize my love on him and that money is not a life and love is life. So plz help me to get rid of this situation sometimes I may have a thoughts to die but I think about my only baby and am living for her only . Thank u for hear my worries

Answer

Salma Prabhu

Clinical Psychologist

Answered almost 5 years ago

Hi,

Thank you for having faith in us to relieve you of your worries.

It must be very difficult to experience a relationship based on monetary conditions. You must be feeling so let down that there was so much love and now it is love only if money is there.

And yes of course you have a baby, you are a mother so your life is very valuable and important for your baby and the baby's future.

It is very nice that you are independent and you earn well from your tution work. Tution means you are also helping other children learn better and gain confidence in their studies. You are not on this earth just for yourself, but for your baby and also for those little children who have difficulty in learning and you are teaching them how to study and get confidence.

As far as your husband is concerned, you shall have to sit calmly and talk to him that you are earning to save for the future of the baby and if he keeps taking the money then the baby's future is being put to stake.

Also convey to him with love that you feel that he loves you only when you give money, which sounds very cheap.

Many a times we focus too much on what the person is doing and we forget to repeat to ourselves what we want.

So besides talking to your husband, I also recommend that you keep telling in your mind what you want.

Say many times in your mind or even loudly

I want my husband to love me and respect me for myself

I want a happy relationship with my family

I want to save my money for my baby and myself

I want to spend my money for what I feel is right.

Please do this and get back to us with your progress.

I pray for your situation to become the way you want it.

With magical love

Salma