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Incompatible with husband, being blamed for being charaterless

Asked by Female, 29, Married
I discovered after marriage that my husband and I have different lifestyles and thoughts. He is suspicious of me and never accepts his mistake when we fight. He calls me characterless in front of his family.
Answer
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Garima
Counseling Psychologist

It seems like there was a lack of understanding between you and your spouse pre and post marriage. Often differences between partners are viewed more as good and bad rather than simply different from each other. Communication can serve as the key ingredient to solve your problems, if that's the common goal for the two of you.

It's important to know if your husband wants to work out the differences between you two and if he's invested in getting to know you for who you are and working out a common ground between the two of you.

You can address his suspicions as well by talking about them openly and finding out what exactly causes the suspicion, it may simply be a misunderstanding on his part and it can help you both if you were able to bring out the topic without apprehension. Unless thoughts are communicated clearly without accusation, it's going to be difficult to live together as family.

You and your partner can also consider couples therapy/ marriage counseling to be able to sort out your differences and bring about an acceptance for each other.

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