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Lack of communication, trust, and love with fiance

Asked by Female, 30, In relationship
Communication issues, trust issues, and lack of love has arisen in my relationship with my fiance all of a sudden. Need help.
Thumb komal
Counseling Psychologist

Thank you for writing in to us. Recognising when you need help and reaching out for the same is the first courageous step to be able to take towards a better self.

One enters into marriage with dreams of hoping to start a new journey with their partner that is filled with love and happiness. For a happy and successful marriage, both partners need to be equally invested to work towards it. With the basic love, trust and communication not in place for a strong foundation, anything that is built upon it will turn out to be shaky, especially at an engagement phase. This is certainly not why someone enters into a marriage. I can imagine your pain and agony.

What you could do is to try and explore the reasons as to what is causing this lack of love, communication and trust. For all this to have manifested, it must have begun somewhere. Go back to its roots.
Talk about the relationship with your partner. You can start the conversation by saying “You’re important to me and I want you in my life. However, there are some things in this relationship that are bothering me and it is important that we address them in order for this marriage to work. My hope is that we can work them out and the only way that could happen is if I tell you clearly what they are.” Then explain instances you found unacceptable to you and suggest ways of resolving those issues mutually.

I would also strongly recommend that you both go in for a premarital counselling. It will help give you both a safe space to be heard and work on the issues together, help make the foundation of your relationship stronger, and also prepare you both for the journey you both are to embark together.

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