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Love my friend who cares me like a husband but don't know if he will marry me

Asked by Female, 27, Single
I met him on shaadi.com, a matrimonial site last June. He was always very caring and friendly and is waiting to be married. He cares and scolds me like husband. He does not frequently chat with me, but whenever I need him he is always there. We have not seen each other in person yet. He knows that I love him and considers his family as mine. But still he sometimes says we are friends. Also he makes fun on my marriage. My instincts says he loves me coz he handles me in every situation very nicely. Whenever I have a complain with him, he listens and tries to reduce my pain.but still I am confused whether he will marry me or not.please help
Answer
Thumb sneha jayagopal
Sneha
Psychotherapist

Dear writer, thank you for writing in. I understand you feel quite confused and are not very sure how to judge your friend's behavior. So lets try putting things in perspective. According to you, your friend is caring, attentive and always there for you. He likes you and wants you to be a part of his life but at the same time he's
very clear that he considers you his close friend. For you perhaps his qualities make him the perfect future husband. What you need to clarify to me is whether he is romantic with you and shares intimate words with you?
Because it is infact this kind of attention that can help you figure out his interest in you or if he is misleading you. Ask yourself if it hurts you to not receive the kind of interest you expect from your friend? Do you think somewhere you might be hoping that he changes his mind and accepts that he is in love with you and commits to you? Either way what he decides is not in your control. You might have to ask yourself if you can handle being friends with a man you are in love with even though there could be no future with him. Your instincts may not be wrong, he may be in love you but as a friend or future partner, is what you need to look at. Even though you think he loves you, he needs to say it himself that he will marry you, which he is not at this point. The most important thing here is, knowing all of this what would you like to do? Please do message back to continue our discussion. Regards.

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