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My best friend does not like me any more, he likes my another friend. I can't tolerate!

Asked by Female, 25, Single
I am suffering a lot and really want to come out of it. This is my story. I am currently pursuing masters. In the year 2014 I met my school classmate. I am quite shy and not so good looking girl. We became very good friends and he used to be there for me every time. We were very close friends. He gave me some hints(I think) that he likes me. But then one day another girl who was also our classmates came into my life. After that they both started talking alot and he started forgetting me. He used to tell everything to her first not me. She took my place in his life. One day I asked him whether he likes me or not then disclosed that he has feelings for that girl and he thinks of me as his good friend. That thing broke me. I was not able to accept it. I used to stalk them and get hurt. It happened in 2015 and I am still into that. I really want to come out of it. I broke my friendship with both of them. But the guy wished me on my birthday last year and after that we are again friends. I don't know how to balance my friendship with him. I don't want to break it too but I don't want to think about him in that way and get hurt everyday. I stalk them daily and get heart broken when both of them are online and he ignores my msgs. How can I live a happy life please guide me.
Answer
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Madhuri Mohan
Counselling Psychologist

Hi, I can imagine the hurt you are going through currently, it must not be easy to see the person you have such strong feelings for with someone else. moving on can be difficult but it is not impossible. Seeking help is the first step in that process and you have started it so kudos to you. However, I think this obsession for the guy is stemming from your need for love. So, the first thing we need to understand how you feel about yourself. I have a few questions which would give me more insight and also help you reflect on your emotions as well.

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