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My boyfriend is not willing to fight for our relationship

Asked by Female, 19, Single
My life is a complete mess right now. As I love a guy and my parents are not accepting us due to caste difference. And I had tried many thing. But they are just not listening and they are saying go die if you want to but we will never let you Marry him. As here everything is doing me he is not doing any thing. He says he love me but he is not fighting for me. And more thing is his family knows about us from long time. But his mom is playing games tht my mom says and some time I too think so. My family wants me to get Marry to someone of my caste. As here I am confused what to do did I have to wait for him because I love him alot I love him more than anything or I have to listen to my family and have to move on from him and get married to someone else. please help me I am really confused depressed and cries alot.
Answer
Thumb sneha jayagopal
Sneha
Psychotherapist

Dear Writer, thank you for writing to us. It takes courage to reach out and take this step. I understand you are very upset with the situation you are in. Your family is against the man you want to marry and you are trying to fight for the relationship. You are afraid of the pain you will have to go through if you let go of your boyfriend. What we don't know for a fact is if your boyfriend is committed to you and is willing to fight for your relationship as well. Also the reality of your situation is that you are dependent on your family and hence need their approval. You have to decide whether you want to stand by your relationship thereby risking upsetting your parents or give in to your parents wishes which means probably marrying someone else in your future. Ask yourself if your relationship is worth it and if you and your boyfriend are strong enough to face all the opposition? If you have doubts about your boyfriend's seriousness to this relationship then better talk to him and clarify it soon.
Also it might help to have a future plan if you both want to stay together. You both will need to be financially independent and emotionally strong and equally supportive. Do you both have your careers sorted out? The reality of life is such that it would demand you to consider all of this before you decide to get married. Love alone will not be enough.
Please message back to continue discussing and let me know what you think. Regards

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