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My dominant, opinitive fiance always feel she is right and wants to call off marriage
Asked by male, 29 yrs, in_relationship
I am 29 years male and getting married in November. Due to understanding issues between us I had to call of wedding off sometime back however I patched up everything back and our wedding date is announced for November. I decided to patch up everything thinking that me and my fiance would behave more mature post this incident since things were already on a toss however things have gone worse now and she still continues with anger issues/hyper behavior and intervening issues which she feels right from her judgement. I've tried to pacify things a lot and tried to make her understand but since she is too loud refused to understand things and instead of understanding things she becomes too opiniative. I don't have any problems with her in taking the lead but there are few things where parents consent is necessary since being in an Indian joint family we have grown up seeing our parents respecting their elders but she doesn't understand this and want things in own fashion and feels her right to take the decision.We keep on fighting on these issues but things are not improving and gone worse now. Infact she has been thinking to call of this marriage for a long time but not doing it because of her parents pressure. What do I do, please suggest. Thanks!!
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

I see that there has been a lot to deal with already before marriage. Seems like you both are on different pages about your own ideologies in life, about what your ideas of a marriage are, about your expectations of each other in the marriage and about how you both have grown up and raised differently by your parents and family. It is important to discuss about these things before marriage to ensure that you both are on the same path towards the same destination.

Going for pre-marital counselling would really help you both find a safe space to discuss these things and resolve them to be able to build a strong foundation in the future.

What's also important to ask yourselves and to each other is why you are getting married to each other, because parental pressure is not one of the reasons one should be getting married.

Here's an article to help you understand more on this:
https://www.askmile.com/blog/get-married-ask-partner-questions/

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