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My fiance anger issues seem to be escalating and are threatening our relationship!

Asked by Female, 26, Single
My fiance has major anger issues. Sometimes he says very mean things to me when we are fighting. He always apologises but ends up saying the same things again. Recently again he got angry and abused me very badly and even though I didn't react as we were in a public place. He suddenly hit me on my head. Later he got really guilty and apologised but I'm scared now. He is otherwise such a great guy, takes care of me no end, keeps me like a princess. But his anger issues seem to be escalating and are threatening our relationship.
Answer
Thumb sneha jayagopal
Sneha
Psychotherapist

Dear writer, thank you for reaching out. It takes courage to take this step. I understand you are scared about your fiance's temper outbursts and you are absolutely right to be this worried about it. If this becomes a pattern then it can create a cycle of abuse which is a very toxic situation to be in for both of you. As much as you say he treats you really well this is also another side to it where he does the exact opposite.
So to help yourself you might have to insist that he helps himself first. Rather than minimize the seriousness of the issue, it would help if you made it clear that he has to resolve his anger issues and consider it a priority. Approaching a counselor who specializes in anger management would be beneficial.
Secondly there are you feelings to consider. How do you feel towards your fiance? How do you feel when he acts out this way?
We can continue to explore that here and deal with whatever this experience is making you feel.
Please message back you continue our discussion. Regards

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