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My hubby not interested in sex with me but he never tired for career and friends!

Asked by Female, 35, Married
My hubby not interested in sex the last time we had sex was 2015 June wherein I conceived thereafter so the whole of my pregnancy and now my baby will turn 1 year my hubby not interested. Tried getting close physical to him he will always say hmmm too tired or just move away. Verbally also I told him that we need to be physically more active he agreed verbally but in reality he is not interested and shows no interest. But the same time for career and friends he is never tired
Answer
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Salma Prabhu
Clinical Psychologist

Hello,

First and foremost let me thank you for writing to us. Many women in this country face this situation however few have the courage to take a step and look for an appropriate guidance.
It must be indeed frustrating to see that he is not concerned that you have needs besides being a mother and a wife. You also have physical desires and that has been completely ignored for a while. Yes it is unusual that it is almost a year and a half since you had physical intimacy.
It is also commendable that you have had discussions with him.
You need to definitely check the following
How many times did you have physical relationship before you got pregnant.
Was he interested before and he is not interested now, or it was always like that
Does he have inhibitions or any past experiences in childhood which make him feel that sex is bad or dirty. Many children do grow up with the programming from their parents or society that sex is bad and dirty and one must not talk about it. Or some have been abused and feel the guilt in the adult age also
You also need to check his orientation . Is he spending more time with make friends.
Is he watching porno.

I would also recommend that slowly you confront him and ask him what you can do regarding your needs if he is not interested.
Or is there something in your mannerisms while having intimacy which turns him off.
Together you both need to see a therapist, if he says he has inhibitions or he has had some bad experiences.

Sex is the most beautiful aspect of a relationship and you keep trying to find out.

I am sure you shall find the answer and find your joy back.

With magical love

Salma

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