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My husband supports his family, sister but not me, wants divorce unable to convince him.

Asked by Female, 29, Married
Actually I love my husband a lot but he always prioritises his family over me. He expects me always to listen to them and he does not listen to me. He always wants me to listen to whatever he has to say and not share anything with anyone else, not even my friends. Or else he stops speaking to me. He said he wants a divorce to get peace of mind! I have tried to convince him but he is not listening to me. Please help. What should I do?
Thumb dr. joseph george new
Dr. Joseph
Counseling Psychologist

Hello Writer,

Thanks for reaching out to the askmile team with your concerns on your marriage. You love your husband a lot but he is not reciprocating which is your primary issue. It is a tough thing to experience no love from your husband while he shows a lot of affection and care for others around him, especially his family. Your experiences in the marriage make you feel sidelined and belittled. I sense how much pain and agony this has caused in your life. I know you feel very disturbed with your husband's behavior and feeling internally agitated. The thought of suicide indicates how deeply you are disturbed.

He loves his family a lot and your experiences make you feel that his priority is his family and you feel left out of his affection and care. A choice between wife and family, you think he would opt for his family. Though you have no issues with his affection for his family but you feel disappointed and disturbed when you do not get the same kind of love. Who are the other members of his family?

You do not feel the intellectual and emotional connection with your husband. You feel upset that his family has a major role to play in his decision making and life, that includes your marriage.

You also say that he does not want you to reach out to friends seeking some solace and support. You feel trapped in this relationship. Whenever you bring an issue for discussion what you hear is the 'divorce' talk which is very disappointing. It is always helpful to share with someone what you go through even if he does not like it.

I am here to help you with all assistance needed to look at what is happening in the marriage and the possibility of finding some meaning and purpose.

Please give me further details on your marriage including the following questions which would help me respond better.
Do you share your difficulties with your family?
Do you have any close friends in the city you live?
How long are you married? Arranged marriage or love?
Are you employed?

Looking forward to hear from you.

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