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Need help to get over breakup with long-time boyfriend

Asked by Female, 23, Single
How do I overcome a breakup with my long-time boyfriend?
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

Moving on from a relationship can indeed be a very difficult phase to go through emotionally. You are in pain over loosing someone. You take time to invest yourself in the relationship, build memories, make promises, see dreams together and then one day everything seems gone and your world is shattered.
After a breakup there is a sense of abandonment, there is a sense of terror about the future, there is disappointment... there is a process of going from “we” back to “me”. At such times we only feel the desperate urge to not experience the pain we are feeling but that is disrespecting the relationship. A heart ache demands and requires the dignity of having felt the pain of it to be able to overcome it eventually.
Loving someone truly is not about possessing or owning them. If you love someone truly, you will continue to love them even if they are not yours or you might eventually move on if that it unbearable for you to live with. It might take a while to get past the sorrow, to accept the fate and to be able to heal again. You can only bring yourself to get used to the memories haunting you and/or becoming indifferent to them over time. The best way is to come to terms with the end of the relationship in healthy coping ways.
Moving on does not necessarily mean that we cease to think of them or cease to love them, it only means that we have been able to come to terms with the end of that relationship. So, continuing to love and miss an ex, to me is a normal thing to happen. But it’s when the memories and the love hinders you from functioning and moving on with your life is when reaching out for professional help would be a good idea.
Here are links to two articles that might help you to read through:
https://www.askmile.com/blog/rejected-in-love-heres-how-and-why-you-should-dust-it-off/
https://www.askmile.com/blog/3-ways-to-deal-with-one-sided-love-that-really-work/
https://www.askmile.com/blog/getting-over-a-breakup-101/

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