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"Parents' interference leading to hurdles in marriage"

Asked by Male, 26, Single
Hello, I was in a relationship for 2 years, after a long family drama we convinced our parents for our marriage. Since she was 4 years elder to me, her parents wanted her to get married as soon as possible. Whereas my parents were not in the position of my marriage. We both were working abroad and since the situation here was getting nasty, I left my job and came back to India. After reaching here we decided to get married without my parents consent. Now, since I was not having a job here and I later found that I need a job in order to go ahead with the marriage, I didn't agree with the marriage. Now, both our parents are against the marriage, but we want to be together. I don't have a job now and her parents want her to get married. What do you suggest I should do now? because half of the day goes by waiting for her to talk and another half I am wandering in the past, blaming myself for the mishap. I am not able to concentrate on anything. Moreover, how do we talk about this to our parents? her parents are pissed off because I walked off from the marriage, and my parents are pissed off because they told them to wait for some time for the marriage still they went ahead with the preparations without informing them, this is a very tricky situation. Kindly help
Answer
Default user
Smriti Ojha
Counseling Psychologist

Hello friend, it seems there are a lot of issues going at this point, you mentioned that you have taken strong steps in past to make things work to marry the person you liked which shows your ability to take decisions.it will be nice if you could share your feelings with her and discuss what would be the best thing to do right now as a couple to move forward. You could also give some time to your parents before you talk to them again regarding your marriage because right now they might not understand your point. Mean while you could come up with plan of action which would help you to go ahead to find job. first come up with which issues among all the issues needs your attention and try to focus to find solution for that, I can understand it must be very hard for you to handle everything at once so try to do attend one thing at a time.

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