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Parents not talking to me after I failed singing audition

Asked by Female, 19, Single
I recently went for a singing audition. My parents were there as well. My mother was forcing me to sing with a minus track, but i was sure I would not be comfortable. However, the live band messed up, so did my song. After the results, on my way back home, both of them started shouting at me like I am a good for nothing. I study very well, but they made me feel useless. My mother also black mailed me saying If i don't crack the upcoming competitive exam, she would kick me out of the house. They do not have the least of sense that I am already heart broken about losing the competition, not that I want to make it my career, but atleast I tried. They hate me so much now, that they are not talking to me for a few days until now.
Answer
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Harish Bhuvanendran
Life Coach

Hi,I just went through what you wrote, and want to tell you that you are really courageous that you decided to open up about it and did not bottle up on what you felt about it, which is really constructive.This is just like the way how parents force children to take studies seriously and when the children try their level best to fulfill those wishes put forth by parents for their happiness but in the process what children don't realize is that they are compelled to listen to what ever comes in their life like this and that they have make them happy. These tough time can be overcome, what I do to overcome situations like these are:1) Accept the reality: Acceptance does not mean agreement. Instead it is about just knowing that what is happening from a realist's standpoint. For example you don't agree with corruption, you can accept that they happen, accepting reality is about recognizing what is within you control and when you cannot control the situation, gives you the edge to focus on controlling yourself.2) Behave productively: Once you have accepted the situation around you, it allows you to manage your thoughts and regulate your emotions which is the key to behave productively. The choice you make when you are faced with problems determine how quickly you will find a solution. Unproductive behaviour like complaining will keep you at a stagnant place. These behavious will just discharge you. Ask yourself what is that thing which you can do to help yourself right now?In your case the immediate to do thing would be to just accept what is happening with the nature of problems that you are facing with your family and come to consensus that you have to clear that test, not that it is an unreasonable wish, it is for your own good as well, so get to working on the big test that you have coming and try to give best shot at it, rest it will happen, if it has to happen.3) Control recurring disturbing thoughts: Your mind can be your biggest asset or your biggest enemy, if you believe your thoughts you can do anything at the same time you can be the biggest hurdle that you have ever seen. Thinking that "this will never work. I'm not good enough," or "I can't stand one more minute of this," will keep you from reaching your actual goals as well. What you can do is to create a self-talk sentence, which you can tell yourself every day that, yes you can do it, and you will do it. Now when you do this, it will help you quiet the negative chatter that threatens you and drags you down.Hope it helps, and also please write to us at any point of time if you are still feeling that things are unresolved, we are here to work together to co-create a space where solutions will just emerge :)Lots of strength and love to you.Harish.

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