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Should I break up with my partner because he isn't successful?

Asked by Female, 21, Single
My boyfriend is not able to have a successful career because of being in a relationship. Should I break up with him till he settles? I am afraid he will not come back to me later in life.
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

Hi Writer, thank you for writing in. It takes great courage to reach out for help.

It seems that you are facing difficulty in your relationship with your boyfriend. You wish to break up with him as a way for him to work on building his career and for him to take this up seriously. But at the same time you do not wish to loose him forever. You want him to come back to you after building his career and you are unsure of how to proceed. I understand that it must be a difficult position for you to be in.

Firstly, I would appreciate the courage in you for being able to manage so far. It certainly must not have been easy on you.
You mentioned that he is not able to build his career. Are you worried that he is not serious enough about it or is your worry that the relationship is keeping him from focusing on his career? Have you talked to him about your concerns for his career?
If you wish for him to be in your life, what makes you hope from from him that he should come back to you after you break up with him?
Answering these questions will help me understand your situation better and enable me to guide you accordingly.

Secondly, how would you like me to help you with your situation? What is it that you are hoping to seek through this counselling process?

Please respond back to continue our discussion. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Warm regards.

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