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Should I keep in touch with my ex-spouse or cut her off?

Asked by Male, 39, Married
I am going through a divorce and finding it difficult to forget her. I keep looking at her pictures and cannot get myself to delete them. Is it okay to keep her clothes as memories and to call her and ask how she is doing?
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

Hi Writer, thank you for writing in. It takes great courage to reach out for help.

It seems that you are facing difficulty in dealing with your divorce. You are finding it difficult to handle the memories of your ex wife and are also not able to let go of it at the same time. You are attached with material things that remind you of her presence. Your heart has still not been able to accept the separation and is desperately trying to hold on to her memories. I understand that it must be a difficult position for you
to be in and it certainly must not have been easy for to to manage all of these emotions.

Firstly, I would appreciate the courage in you for being able to manage so far.
Could you tell me a little bit about yourself as an individual? What do you do? How does your day go?
When did you and your ex wife separate? For how long were you married? Do you have any children?
What was the cause of the separation?
What is the current state of the relationship between you and your ex wife?
Who else is there in your family? Who do you live with? Have you shared this with anyone close?
And lastly, how have you been managing so far? What helps you to keep going?
Answering these questions will help me understand your situation better and enable me to guide you accordingly.

Secondly, how would you like me to help you with your situation? What is it that you are hoping to seek through this counselling process?

Please respond back to continue our discussion. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Warm regards.

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