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Should I wait for a guy to accept me romantically although he has refused?

Asked by Female, 24, Single
One side love. Waiting for 3 years, yet he did not accept and he will not accept because of his family circumstance. But he likes me as a friend, speaking as a friend. But I can't give up, can't able to forgot. Can't take as a friend but I need him in my life. Can't take up an other life. Really Don't know how to explain my pain. I am stuck in between all. Yet waiting is worth? Wrong to move on. Don't know what to do?
Answer
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Kiran Lakhani
Counselling Psychologist

Hi,

I understand it is quite frustrating to wait and to wait for someone who can't reciprocate your feelings is quite difficult.

Do you think reminding yourself that, "even if you waited for a lifetime he will not be on your side as he will never go against his family" or

will it help to talk to him and clarify, "do you think if the family situation was not there you will love me back?" if he responds with a Yes, you pursue in solving a the issues but if he responds with a No, then its you who is harming yourself, isn't it? he doesn't even bother how it will impact you.

Is waiting worth?....I would ask you, who are you waiting for? One waits for someone who has said he will come back or you wait because you know he will come back, which unfortunately is not the case here.

I know it is difficult. I know it will be a life changing decision to move on, but do you see yourself happy like this? or you want to take the step to make yourself happier and move on?

It takes courage to move on to an unknown zone, but you never know if you take a step and move on, you might find a better human instead. Who wants to spend his life with you. By waiting for this person who doesn't want you you are losing on to the chance of meeting the person who wants to be with you.

I hope I have answered your query.

Cheer up. Life awaits you.

All the best.

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