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Unable to trust cheating husband who is aggressive and ignores me

Asked by Female, 30, Married
My spouse admitted to having an extra-marital affair. However, he does not care about my feelings and behaves aggressively. He is unwilling to stop the affair.
Answer
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Shriti Mitra
Counseling Psychologist

Hi,

Thanks for confiding in us and feeling that we would be good to help you out with this situation. You definitely are going through a lot. When you say you feel insecure, that says you are afraid of loosing him and you definitely don't want that to happen. You also mention that yours is a love marriage and you'll are together for last 10 years. That indeed is a very long time that both of you have devoted to your relationship and you obviously won't be happy if any third person interferes.

You also say that you'll have regular fight over this. He says he would not talk to her but you can't trust him on this. Post all these fights he has become very aggressive and doesn't care for your feelings anymore. You have also noticed that their messages are very close, and this disturbs you a lot.

Could it help if you could find out why he behaves in such a way? Is there anything that you could help him out with? Also could it help if the both of you could take some professional help and meet a counselor?

In situations like these, anyone in your place would get angry and agitated, but only getting angry and fighting out wouldn't help us well. Try and reason out and see what suits the situation best.

Hope you get some relief soon and you spend a wonderful life ahead. Do get back to me when whenever you feel like.

Regards

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