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We are misunderstanding each other, fighting regularly after losing our daughter

Asked by Male, 40, Married
I am married 11 years back with one girl child 6 yrs old. My wife is also educated and used to work and drop and again used to work. We had a tragedy 10 years back where we lost one girl child after that we had issues in understandings and we had resolved over a period of time. But from the past 1 year there are issues from her parents side as well as my parents side. This has nothing to do with my family life. But their issues has become our issues and we started fighting with each other. She says that I have anger issues. I say that she doesn't respect me. This is my honest issue. Suggest
Answer
Thumb komal
Komal
Counseling Psychologist

Looks like both of you have gone through a lot in your marriage and have come out of it well and strong. However, some issues with regard to in laws seems to have cropped up recently in your 11 year old marriage. Seems to me like you feel that both in laws are getting too involved which has led you both to take things personally. You both feel differently about each other's behaviours and looks like you both are not on the same page.

What would help at this point of time is to work on making the communication between you and your wife. You clearly look to resolve this and not let issues outside of your relationship to affect your marriage that you both have built so far after having gone through so many rough tides. When things are calm, talk to your wife about what you want and don't want. Setting boundaries with regards to how much you both agree to allow for both your parents to be involved in your marriage is a decision for the both of you to decide upon. It's important to realise the importance, the necessity and consequence of setting boundaries that under no circumstances are to affect the relationship between the two of you.

Going for family or couple's therapy will help you all/ both to understand the roots of the issues better and deal with them effectively.

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