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Wife has distanced herself from me, blames me, insults me

Asked by Male, 42, Married
My wife has become cold towards me. She blames me for everything, insults me and demoralizes me. We have not slept together for eight months. She does not want divorce but she wants to stay away from me.
Answer
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Garima
Counseling Psychologist

It seems like your wife is trying to communicate something to you but the message has not been received either because her communication isn't clear enough or you haven't paid attention to the right things.

It seems like she is quite upset and angry for some reason.It is important to know what has upset your wife so deeply that she has cut off from you completely. You can try to talk to her privately or seek the help of a trusted family member or friend to initiate this.
It may require a few attempts of you to be able to get her to open up , as she seems quite distraught.
It will also help communicating how her demoralizing and insults make you feel, it wills serve as insight for your wife to see how she is contributing to the failing relationship and creating more distance and it'll make you feel a lot better to voice your pain. Often people underestimate the power of words and the scars they leave.

It's quite possible that this might open up the root cause of her behavior, which maybe you or something else, since your wife has 'grown' cold towards you and it wasn't always this way.
But it's important for you to know, so that you can rectify the situation if you are causing it.
I would suggest seeking counselling or therapy for your mental and emotional health as you seem to be going through a painful isolation in your marriage. Therapy will also provide the help and support you need to deal with your wife, your situation and your future.

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