Abuse

Questions related to Abuse
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Abuse Asked by female, 33 years. divorced

How to get over emotional and physical abuse?

How do I deal with emotional and physical abuse?

Abuse in any form or degree at any age, gender, region, culture or circumstance is not acceptable or justifies in any manner. It is a criminal offence and is punishable by law. It is important to recognise abuse and to act against it rather than believing it to be a norm and deeming yourself to feel helpless. First and foremost, call a helpline right away! Find out services in your state that cater to these issues and do not hesitate to reach out to them. Reach out to someone you know and can trust well. It always helps to have someone support you and be by your side in times of need....
Abuse Asked by female, 22 years. married

Husband is physically abusive, religious issues after inter-caste love marriage

After an inter-caste love marriage, my husband is physically abusive and there are issues in our relationship due to our different religions. I do not want to stay in this marriage.

Recognising when you need help and reaching out for the same is the first courageous step to be able to take towards a better self. One enters into marriage with dreams of hoping to start a new journey with their partner that is filled with love and happiness. For a happy and successful marriage, both partners need to be equally invested to work towards it. With the basic respect not met and enduring an abuse from your partner is certainly not why someone enters into a marriage. I can imagine your pain and agony. Regardless of anything, you certainly deserve to follow your own religious...
Abuse Asked by female, 34 years. married

Subjected to domestic violence

I am subjected to domestic violence and other issues in my marriage. I cannot tolerate it anymore.

Thank you for writing in to us. Recognising when you need help and reaching out for the same is the first courageous step to be able to take towards a better self. One enters into marriage with dreams of hoping to start a new journey with their partner that is filled with love and happiness. For a happy and successful marriage, both partners need to be equally invested to work towards it. With the basic respect not met and enduring an abuse from your partner is certainly not why someone enters into a marriage. I can imagine your pain and agony. To begin with, reach out for help- to...
Abuse Asked by female, 25 years. married

Alcoholic, abusive husband, family wants me to leave

My husband and my in-laws verbally abuse me--they want me to leave my child behind. My husband has a drinking problem. My family also wants me to leave but I want to give my husband another chance.

Your situation is painful one, abuse from nobody is alright, least of all your husband and his family. Thank you for reaching out and seeking help, it's a serious decision to make and it's commendable that you're reaching for opinions/ advice. First things first, nobody can force you to make a choice about your child. Family members can advice, however, the ultimate decision lies with either both parents. It seems apparent that you're marriage has fallen apart and that your husband doesn't seem inclined to making it work. That coupled with his alcoholic habits, makes it rather difficult...
Abuse Asked by female, 30 years. married

Abusive husband threatens me to resign job for meagre reason

I am married for 4 years and a professional with well job. My husband gets abusing sometime at meagre reason. He expects me to do all the household works and office. If I fail to do any one household work he threatens me to resign my job and get abusive. I cannot take it anymore and feel like...

So from what i gather, I understand that you are facing a difficult time dealing with your husband in your marriage. You seem to be put under a lot of pressure from him with regard to expectations of household work as well as at work. He threatens you to leave your job if you are unable to complete chores at home and even sometimes gets abusive. This has naturally left you frustrated and you wish to seek a way out of it. Firstly, I would like to admire the strength in you to be able to manage this all this while. I am sure it must have been very difficult for you to be put under such...
Abuse Asked by male, 40 years. married

Wife verbally and physically abusive, FIL filing false domestic violence cases

Hello, This is to inform you that I had a love marriage in 2005 Aug and have one son who is 11 years and daughter of 2 years. I have come to know through my son in the year 2015 April that my wife had been cheating me with illicit affairs and my son had shown me the pictures of the same. We were...

Hi Writer, first of all, thank you for reaching out to us. I'm terribly sorry to hear that you are dealing with such a difficult situation at this time. It must be very scary for you to have repeatedly faced this situation. From what you have stated, it does sound like the first steps that need to be taken are the legal steps. Therefore, I would highly recommend that you reach out to a lawyer to get this sorted as soon as possible. I understand that your children must be going through a lot and confused at this point as well. They will need a large amount of support and reassurance that...
Abuse Asked by , years.

Unable to focus on work due to abusive husband

Hello, Earlier my husband had sent me a notice for divorce when I had been to my mother's place for an occasion. After three months counseling, I went back. But he always puts me down and always shouts at me. We have a young one at home and due to this, I am unable to concentrate on my project....

Hi Writer, thank you for reaching out to us. It must be difficult to run a household, your child while doing your project. Do tell me a little more about your relationship and what led to the divorce notice.
Abuse Asked by female, 28 years. married

Husband is verbally abusive in front of family members

Hello, Whenever I meet my husband's family members, there's always an issue that comes up. Not only from his family members but from his side too. He reacts very badly and even starts shouting at me in front of his family and immediately calls my mother to tell my smallest mistakes in a bad...

Hello Writer, Thank you for seeking help from the Askmile team to deal with the difficulties you encountered in your one year old marriage. Your major issue is that your husband shouts and screams at you when his family members are around. This has happened whenever you visited his family in the home town. When you both are not in the hometown, his behavior is different and he tries to make you feel good. Your dreams about marriage and family life is shattered with his approach to you. His reactions make you feel that you failed to play the role of the ideal wife. He is upset with...
Abuse Asked by male, 30 years. married

Unhappy forceful marriage. My wife doesn't want divorce but still in contact with ex

I got married about almost a year ago. My wife has trouble accepting me as her husband. She used to live in a big city and i live in a village near a different city. She told me before marriage too that she is not interested in me and loves someone else. so I asked her to speak to her parents...

Thank you for writing to us. It takes courage to ask for help. I understand you are going through a difficult time in your marriage. How do you feel towards your wife now and about your future? Please message back to continue discussing. I am here to help. Regards
Abuse Asked by male, 19 years. in_relationship

I am fed up with my girlfriend's repeated actions and words. But not able to broke up due to my emotions!

I am fed up with my girlfriend's actions and words. I thought of leaving her and many times I have made the decision too but eventually I melt and come back. She says she won't repeat the mistakes. But she does again and again.

Hi Writer, thank you for reaching out to us. Sounds like you are frustrated and confused at this point as your feelings for your girlfriend seem to very strong. Could you tell me what these actions and words are that upset you?
Abuse Asked by female, 68 years. married

Husband is immature, emotionally abusive, toxic person, nothing makes him happy. He drags me down with his bad mood

I have been married for 50 years and facing difficulty because of immature, toxic and irritating behavior of husband. My husband who is basically a good man but very different as husband. He is totally unable to show love or affection and is emotionally abusive never physically though. Nothing...

Dear Writer, thank you for writing to us. I understand you are frustrated and upset regarding your husband's behavior. Your tolerance of his habits and nature has reduced over the years and you can no longer bear it. There are two ways to go about this. Either carry on the way you have been and accept your husband for the way he is or you consider changes that need to be made by both of you. Both will involve some amount of discomfort and pain. You have to decide what you are up for and what you need for yourself at this point in your life and we will take it forward from there. Could you...
Abuse Asked by female, 27 years. married

Short-tempered husband gets angry for silly things and abuse me. Regret, love and console after cooling down

We have been married for 2 years now. And we knew each other for 6 months before marriage, yes it was a love marriage. We are Indians and he is from a different caste. We both are well educated and working and my parents were ok with it. Though he was not initially like this. He is an extremely...

Dear Writer, thank you for writing to us. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. I understand you dilema and the hurt caused by your husband's anger. So let's put things in perspective. Your husband loves you, cares for you, sees to your needs and is pretty much what you would want from a good partner. But no amount of love and care can ever condone or justify physical abuse. It is wrong and is a punishable offence. You are in an abusive relationship. If your husband feels really bad about his behaviour then he seriously needs to work on it and make a change and for this he might...
Abuse Asked by female, 30 years. married

My husband have sexual relationship with MIL. I left home!

My husband has sexual relationship with his mother and after observing that he beat me and told me You are wrong I left home now what to do I don't know. She came to help me after my delivery but I have observed that during night time my husband use to come near her and touch her body parts in...

Dear Writer, I can understand how hurt and alone you must be feeling. This is a frightfully terrible incident to have witnessed. Incest between mother and son is a serious violation on the mother's part to have encouraged her son's sexual curiosity in an perverse manner. It is a situation that you don't have control over if your husband doesn't admit to what has been happening. The truth is out and it is their shame to bear. Have you confided in anyone else? Your family or a friend? It's important to have the support of someone whom you can trust. Right now the way you feel is very...
Abuse Asked by female, 27 years. married

Alcoholic husband gets very aggressive and abusive when drunk

I am 27 years old, recently married (4 months ago) to a person who now appears to be an alcoholic. Since it was an arranged marriage I didn't know the extent of his drinks. He drinks almost every day and gets very aggressive and abusive when drunk. He raised hand on me yesterday. His parents tell...

Dear Writer, thank you for writing in. You need help and so does your husband. Alcoholism is a disease and when not addressed sooner than later can quickly spiral out of control and lead to place where your very safety is under threat. Regardless of how newly married you are, it's is never reason enough to compromise with self- respect and safety. This is a serious situation which requires serious actions. This is not a behaviour one should ever have to tolerate alone or give it time. Firstly, ask yourself, how safe do you feel? Do you have someone to come to your aid when your husband's...
Abuse Asked by female, 47 years. married

Husband ill-treats, abuses me. We don't have any physical relationship for long time

I have a problem in my married life. My husband is ill-treating me and he is trying to exploit me for money and we don't have any physical relationship for past many years. If I ask him for divorce, he abuses me with cheap words and asks me to leave the house.

Hi there, Thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to state that there is an issue, especially in a marriage. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you and the pain you must be experiencing especially when your husband verbally abuses you. I am sure that when he uses cheap words, it must be very hurtful and must definitely affect your self-worth. It also sounds like you and your husband have not been connecting emotionally and physically for a very long time. With regards to him exploiting you for money, what does he tell you? Do you have a separate account so you are...
Abuse Asked by male, 53 years. married

Physical abuse by wife and son

How do I deal with physical abuse by my wife and son?

Hello, Thank you for finally asking for help. It must have become so unbearable that finally u have tried to find a solution. As I can see ur age is 53,which means this abuse is going on for many years. Your son has just learnt it from your wife, to whom u have allowed to abuse u physically for so many years. I am sure u have expressed ur pain to them many times. And u also must have thought of taking a step many times to put a stop to this. Physical abuse, whether to a human or animal is when the abuser has no respect for you. Here it also says in ur case that u have lost...
Abuse Asked by female, 25 years. single

Friend abuses girlfriend in public in anger

How do I help my friend who has anger issues and who physically and verbally abuses his girlfriend in public?

Thank you for writing in. Firstly it's commendable that you want to do something about this rather than being party to the situation by being a silent bystander. Where your friend is concerned what the need of the hour is for an intervention. This cycle of rage resulting in abuse needs to be broken. For that your friend needs to realise that actions have consequences and so far he hasn't had to deal with the consequences. Your friend's girlfriend needs to set some strong boundaries and her safety is paramount. What is she doing to defend herself? Perhaps you and your friends can get...
Abuse Asked by female, 23 years. single

Boyfriend used to bring up ex during fights, cannot accept him despite change

I am in a relationship for 3 years. I am not the 1st girl to him. And also, initial days of our relationship, he was flirting with a girl. After a big fight he choose me and he completely into me. But when ever a fight comes atlast we will reach to his ex. And also he is to compare his exs and me...

Hi, I know you love him so much, and you can't give up on him. And I know it's difficult to trust a person again, once you loose the trust on him. What do you think? what type of a person he is? Explore more on it, get to know more about him.The more you explore the better you get to know!
Abuse Asked by female, 53 years. married

My mother is being tortured by her DIL. But scared to confront!

My mother is being mentally tortured by her daughter-in-law that is my bhabhi, I can't tell this to my brother as he is very short tempered and may be he will not believe it. My mother is frightened to open her mouth as she has to rather wants to live with them. I want to help my mother even...

Hi, It feels good to notice your concern about your mother and willingness to look after her :) she is very lucky to have you. i can also understand that it must be painful to watch her go through trouble on daily basis and not being able to do anything about it. please help us understand what kind of mental trouble are you talking about by few examples, that will help us guide you better of how to deal with this situation for now make sure you take good care of yourself, if you get weak, you wont be able to help your mother with it, also express it to her that you are always there and...
Abuse Asked by female, 20 years. single

Abusive boyfriend, gets angry, threatens to commit suicide if I break up with him

i am suffering from high stress full life just bez of my bf . he abuse me . he just want to control me like I am a machine.he is so angry . if I say I want breakup. .then he just blackmail me by saying tht he will tell everything to my parents & commit a suicide. .he had try tht ones. . he loves...

Hello, Of what I had read, I once had a friend who had a similar problem. She built up the courage and first thing that she did was to go to her parents and spoke with her parents regarding this faulty relationship, later she went and told him that she wouldn't want to continue the relationship. I can see that you clearly still care for him, hence you wrote that you don't want him to die, let me tell you that if you are in this relationship it is clearly stressing you out and you need to get out of that relationship. Also I assure you that, such an abusive person won't end up his life...
Abuse Asked by female, 30 years. married

Facing aggression and abuse from husband, MIL, and SIL

My husband becomes aggressive when i talk truth of his mother and sister as his mother and sister are torchering me...and shows different to my husband..and my husband is abusing me. also my mother in law lives at my sister in law's place more than our home

Abuse Asked by female, 33 years. married

Emotionally abused by husband but unable to leave him

I am unable to understand what my husband trying to do he will be generally nice but he does not care a bit for me.I am staying away from him because of nature of his job I am also working. He doesn't want to give me monthly allowance when I pester him again and again then only he gives I feel...

Hi, I can actually feel the torment you are going through. You took a right step by writing to find some solace and answers to your woes. You have mentioned that you are staying away from him because of the nature of his work. You have also mentioned that you are working. I am a little confused then how you have to beg for allowance and how he shows his displeasure about you visiting and taking care of your parents. However from what I have understood, you want more attention, loving words and care from him. You want the excitement you had in the earlier years of your love and...