Commitment Issues

Questions related to Commitment Issues
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Commitment Issues Asked by female, 23 years. single

Ex-boyfriend wants to marry me but has issues with my friendships

My ex-boyfriend left me for the Navy without warning. He called me again out of the blue and wanted to marry me but had issues with my guy friends.

Looks like your boyfriend left you while choosing his career over you. While he is entitled to make his choices in his life, it was not fair of him to leave you feeling abandoned. You both were in the relationship and you too were entitled to know the choices he makes, especially the ones that affect you and the relationship. While you were left to come to terms with it, he returns expressing to marry you but at the same time he is uncomfortable with your male friends, putting you in yet another unpleasant position. Now, I understand that it must be a very confusing situation for you that...
Commitment Issues Asked by male, 26 years. in_relationship

Parental disapproval for marriage with foreigner, partner hurt and angry

My partner is a foreigner and my parents do not approve of our marriage. She is angry and hurt at my rejection. I am unhappy about it. What to do?

It is difficult to be caught between family and love. The choice is not an easy one to make indeed. One of the things you can do is to get to speak with your parents' about their disapproval of this marriage. Get to know their concerns and see if they can be addressed along with your girlfriend and her family as well. Try to understand what they would need form your partner to be able to approve of the match. If possible, see if you can get them to see how your partner is meeting those needs. Provide them strong reasons to see why this is a good match that they should approve of instead...
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 23 years. in_relationship

Should I marry my partner or not?

I am confused whether I should marry my boyfriend or not. We have broken up because I am unable to commit to him.

Marriage is quite a huge decision to be made and it indeed is not easy. It is a decision of a lifetime after all. You broke up with your boyfriend because you were not able to commit to him. To be able to get a clarity for yourself to your confusion, it would help for you to take time to process your reasons as to what made it difficult for you to be able to commit to him. Ask yourself if the concern was only with this particular boyfriend or is it that you generally feel that you are unable to commit to any relationship. If it is about this particular person, explore your reasons...
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 23 years. single

Emotional and physical abuse by boyfriend, refusal to acknowledge relationship

I am feeling so miserable now. I was in love for 4 years with a guy who emotionally abused me (he was a control freak) and it broke up when I moved abroad. In just a few months I met a guy there and developed feelings for him. He also had the same and suggested that we move in together. I moved...

Hi Writer, thank you for writing in. It takes great courage to reach out for help. From what I gather, you seem to be in a difficult relationship. You have suffered a great deal while coming out of a 4 year old emotionally abusive relationship. You finally found relief and were able to be ready to invest emotionally in another guy you met and have been living with him since half a year. I understand that it must have been devastating for you to have discovered that he is now finding another girl for marriage. His reasons being that his parents would not accept a girl from a different...
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 32 years. married

Husband avoids discussion about future plans, gets angry

Hello, We are married for 3yrs now. We've known each other for 10yrs. We have a very happy relationship, we dine together, we watch movies together. But when it comes to talking real stuff as in about kids, our future, our investments, where do we want to live in future, building a home, what...

Hi Writer, thank you for reaching out to us. It must be frustrating to you as well to have him avoid the conversations every time. Have you talked to him as to why he avoids the topics?
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 24 years. in_relationship

My current boyfriend can't marry me. While my ex wants me to came back and proposed me for marriage

I was in relationship with a guy for 3 years and then things didn't work out and we brokeup. It been more then 9 month and finally I am dating a guy. Actually I m in long distance relationship with someone and I am happy with him though we are mutually decided not to worry about marriage and...

Hi Writer, thank you for reaching out to us. Sounds like your feelings for both of them are confusing you. Could you tell me a little bit more about your relationship with your ex while you were together and what caused the break up? Your ex seems to be willing to give you what you're looking for but, you're not sure about your feelings for him right now. How do you feel about your current boyfriend? Are you sure about how you feel for him?
Commitment Issues Asked by , years.

My son has fear of taking responsibility, wants to be unmarried!

My son aged 32 years does not want to marry. When asked, he is telling that he is afraid of taking responsibility. Kindly advise.

Dear Writer, thank you for writing to us. His hesitance towards taking on responsibility might be to do with his nature and his priorities. The good thing is he's being honest enough about what he isn't ready for. Since he is an adult I'm sure he had his reasons. It might help me if you could tell me more about your son and what may be contributing to him feeling this way about marriage. Please message back to continue discussing. Regards
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 19 years. single

My boyfriend is not willing to fight for our relationship

My life is a complete mess right now. As I love a guy and my parents are not accepting us due to caste difference. And I had tried many thing. But they are just not listening and they are saying go die if you want to but we will never let you Marry him. As here everything is doing me he is not...

Dear Writer, thank you for writing to us. It takes courage to reach out and take this step. I understand you are very upset with the situation you are in. Your family is against the man you want to marry and you are trying to fight for the relationship. You are afraid of the pain you will have to go through if you let go of your boyfriend. What we don't know for a fact is if your boyfriend is committed to you and is willing to fight for your relationship as well. Also the reality of your situation is that you are dependent on your family and hence need their approval. You have to decide...
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 32 years. single

Inter-caste relationship. Boy is hesitating for court marriage.

I am in a relationship with a Bhandary boy and me being from North Brahmin clan. Court Marraige is the only option with us it seems. But boy is hesitant because of parents health. How should we go ahead with this?

Dear Writer, thank you writing in. I need to get a better grip of your situation. Can you elaborate on why court marriage is the only option for you two? Are you suggesting your parents may not give consent? Do the parents know about you two? Your partner is hesitant because of his parents health.. is he concerned that this news might affect them somehow? Currently where do you and your partner stand and how long have you both been together? Please do message back to continue our discussion.
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 22 years. single

I liked and had sex with my colleague, who doesn't want commitment or relationship. I feel used and helpless

I liked one of my colleagues. We went out for shopping one day and then we had sex. After that, we went on having sex and I do have feelings for him but he didn't have. He doesn't want commitment nor relationship. I am unable to come up with the situation as he is my first crush and I have given...

I truly understand the pain you might be going through. This pain is unbearable, the feeling of being a doormat for someone whom you love and care the most. If someone is having sex with you and he is not interested or if he doesn’t want to have a relationship, it’s because in his mind it’s a casual relationship. The good thing is the insight which you have is a blessing and that could help us to work together to change the present situation and move ahead.
Commitment Issues Asked by male, 27 years. single

Live-in relationship for 5 years, but having second thoughts due to different expectations

I am in a relationship for 5 years and living together for 1.5 years now (unmarried). But I have second thoughts too. I don't think we have a lot in common and have different expectations with one another.

Hello Sir, I truly understand the dilemma you might be going through. This is a decision which is going impact your life forever. Let’s reflect upon this important matter whenever possible. Kind Regards, Mousumi
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 35 years. divorced

Divorced mother with daughter, in relationship with married colleague without proof

I am in a relationship with my boyfriend since six years. We knew each other since April 2011 through my workplace. I was a divorced mother with a daughter. During this period, he was facing a crisis with his wife. His was an arranged marriage with 2 children. He told me that his divorce papers...

Dear Writer, thank you for writing in. I can understand that at this point you feel stuck where you're relationship is concerned and hurt from all that you have had to go through. Although I have followed the sequence of events as mentioned in your query I need some clarifications to understand and make recommendations accordingly. So kindly let me know about your and your partner's nationality and religion respectively is so that I can understand what the requirements and limitations exactly are. Secondly what keeps standing out in your query is the matter of trust. There seems to be a...
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 34 years. single

Boyfriend unwilling to commit yet not letting me marry someone else

My partner and I have a good emotional and sexual relationship. However, he is unwilling to commit to me. He is also refusing to let me go.

Hi there. I am sorry to hear that you feel this way. You gave your heart to someone in your most vulnerable time, and this person has broken your trust. You must feel angry and cheated. Ending your life is not a solution though. There is always hope and help. Let me ask you some questions first:
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 23 years. single

Mood swings, feeling insecure and low, not confident about my decisions

I have mood swings and I am unable to feel happy. My peers have bullied me. I have low self-confidence and I feel indecisive. I am unable to commit to my partner.

Dear Writer, I appreciate your having written in. I understand that you are unhappy with way things seem to play out for you. You feel depressed when you find yourself on the sidelines. The frequent mood swings can be tiring to manage or predict. You wish you had the will to make decisions and choices that worked for you, I understand that this makes you feel insecure about yourself. That you were treated as a pushover and felt like a loser has chipped away at your confidence and self -worth. There's not much you feel good about when it comes to you and that is a very painful opinion to...
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 24 years. single

Boyfriend is in a committed relationship with another girl

I was in a long relationship till last year(4 years). After which it broke up and left me shattered. This year after starting my post grad I have fallen in love yet again and to much stronger extent. The problem is he is already committed to someone else. Even with this information we both...

Hi, You yourself have answered the question you are asking, "I don't want to be the other girl." I understand it is difficult, I understand it is devastating. I would ask you just a simple question, "What are YOU doing about it?" It is difficult but not impossible. You are feeling hurt everyday, but if you decide to breakup you will feel hurt once and for all. You can give your life another chance. I understand with the information you have provided that you two have had conversation about it and the boy responded with "He doesn't know what to do", and with what I understand is you have...
Commitment Issues Asked by female, 42 years. married

Husband refuses to set up house with me and our son

I would like to know how to deal with a husband who has repeatedly failed to set up a home with me and our son. He is concerned only for his parents, widowed sister who is well settled and fights with me if i question him and try to seek his involvement in my life

Hello, I guess you have approached for help after going through a lot of torment in your mind and lot of efforts from your side to make your husband concentrate on you and your son rather than his parents and sister. When a woman gets married in our culture, her family does not expect her to keep paying attention to them as right from childhood it is said that the girl will go to her husbands house. However somewhere down the line, the nuclear family set up has led to forgetting that going to husbands house means he already has a house where he has a family who has been with him and who...