“If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate.” ― C. JoyBell C.
Aditi started dating a guy. She was feeling pretty sweet about her new partner. She was sure that this is only his prince charming and was ready to say I do with him. Suddenly one day she got a message from that guy saying that he feels something is missing in this relationship and he cannot continue and is breaking up.
Aditi was heartbroken. She couldn’t forget that guy. She tried hard to figure out what went wrong. But all her efforts went in vain.
It is very tough to let go someone whom you consider as your world. According to Tanisha M. Ranger, a clinical psychologist, human beings have a tendency to ponder upon unfinished tasks may be it is relationship or business. We remember things that are incomplete much more so than completed ones.
If you are also finding difficult to let go someone out of your mind. Below are few tips to help you in stop thinking about someone.
15 tips on How to Forget someone
Let time heal
It is always good to speak less and let time play its magic when we are in hard situations. Rather than being proactive, be reactive. Do not be in hurry to forget the person. With each passing day, the things will fall into place. Slowly and gradually time will teach you to live without that person.
Wait and Watch
When in pain, we try to heal our self by taking everything in our hand and in hassle take a wrong decision. Instead, it is always wiser to sit down, calm your nerves and wait for what will happen next. According to a Buddhist psychologist Sylvia Boorstein when you want to forget someone what all you have or rather you should do is allow yourself to wait and see what is going to happen next.
Do not play the blame game
If you want to take someone out of your mind it is very important that you stop playing the blame game. By blaming yourself or your ex you are just giving more space to him/her. When everything is over and you have to move forward in life, then it really doesn’t matters who did what.
Deal with your anger
Anger is a very natural reaction when in pain. But remember it is just only creating a fog around your mind which will not let you see what good will happen to you next. According to Rebecca, askmile relationship expert – The clouds of anger will fade your way out. One should learn to deal with self rather than focusing on how to deal with another person.
Watch your thoughts
When we lose someone we loved a lot our body goes through various emotions like stress, fear, anger, anxiety, and sadness. These feelings also affect our thinking. Negative thoughts take troll over our mind. It is very important to watch your thoughts and keep calm and stable.
Keep yourself busy
An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. Your time is precious do not waste it on somebody who doesn’t deserve it. To avoid thinking about those people just keep yourself busy. That doesn’t mean that you exhaust yourself into work, rather calm yourself, do whatever you like, go for a relaxing spa. Give your mind and heart a treat of hood thoughts and actions.
Think about someone else
There are so many other people in our lives who loves us to the core but we often neglect them like our parents, siblings, and friends. This is the right time to realize this. Think about the other people who love you. This will make you feel wanted. Connect with those people. Thank them for loving you unconditionally.
Follow “No Contact Rule”
Whatever the situation is make up your mind that you will not contact that person. You will several times feel low and will have an urge to just talk or even listen to that person’s voice. But this is a big NO. You will have to keep yourself strong. Whenever any such thought comes in your mind just divert your mind and start doing something else.
Do not behave as if nothing has happened
Do not fool yourself by behaving as nothing has happened. You have not suffered a memory loss; you are just going through a difficult time. Miss them… It is very normal. Do not pretend that you don’t miss that person rather find out ways to heal.
Think about his/her negative traits
No person is perfect. Thinking about his/her negative traits will help you in thinking why it was a better situation that you moved on. But keep in mind that you need not to over think this too. Just a little bit to help yourself to set free of the burden of a gone relationship.
Avoid Going to places where you have memories associated
Going to places where you created memories will just add to your pain. Instead, explore new places, try some adventure camp or even just sit at your home and watch comedy movies.
Nurture your hobby
Juggling between relationship and work we often do not get time for our hobbies. Well, now when you have time why not to spend it on yourself. Cultivate your hobbies. Join some classes. Doing things you love to do will make you fall in love with life once again.
Follow no stalking rule. It is very important because by stalking your ex you are not allowing your mind to get free from the thoughts of your ex. The more you stalk your ex, the more you will be thinking about him/her. The more you will think of him/her, the more it will be difficult for you to move on. Also, it is useless to keep news and whereabouts of a person who is no longer a part of your life.
Do not try to think what your ex must be going through
Do not think that what your ex must be doing without you. Or, that he/she might be in pain or whatever. Maybe whatever you are thinking is wrong and it will hurt you, even more, when you will see them moving forward happily. Instead, focus on your feelings and help yourself in coming out of this crisis.
According to the law of nature what you give comes back to you in some or the other form. So spread as much happiness as you can. Help others, do some charity, spend time with elderly people. Being a reason of someone’s smile will not only make you feel good but will also boost your morale.
Therapy & Counselling
If you feel that you are not able to control your thoughts and feelings. Do not hesitate. Seek help. There are professional therapist and counselors who are trained to take you out of this situation. Do not hesitate.
Don’t let your life stagnate just because one person has moved out of it. just keep moving you may be God has a better plan for you. trust Him and trust yourself.