How to deal with Valentine’s Day after a breakup?

Even with the help of a few bags of Valentine’s candy, there’s absolutely no way to sugarcoat this: Breakups are terrible. They’re pretty much the furthest thing from fun no matter when they happen, but they can feel especially crummy when they happen within a few weeks of what’s supposed to be the loveliest day of the year.

Whether you love Valentine’s Day or just love to hate it, you have to admit that a breakup around February 14 feels like one of the worst scenarios for the end of a relationship. The Valentine’s Day season is one of the only times when it’s practically impossible to hide from messages of romance and forever love, and who needs to experience loneliness when love is in the air.

You will start recalling all the awesome memories from your relationship while seeing the couples and might think of a patch up but if the breakup was for a legit reason then there should be no compromise. Don’t go back to your ex just because you miss them during the season or feel lonely.

While you are trying to cope with the situation the roses and teddy bears in a store reminds you of how your valentine’s used to be.

Put a positive spin on things and deal with things in the holiday.

There are a few ways to deal with the misery and focus on your goals and while love is in the air you can create the air of individualism.

Focus on self-care and positive distractions

Don’t sit around wallowing. Instead, take action by making a plan to do something that will actually help you heal. Grab a friend and get some fresh air or set up a massage on Valentine’s Day. The more distracted you are, the easier it will be to survive February 14.

Don’t create a big fuss about Valentine’s Day.

Recognize that what feels like a season is largely a marketing ploy,” Dr Benton suggests. “Valentine’s Day is a little in-your-face.” Realizing that much of the hubbub around the occasion is just smart business on the part of candy and chocolate companies might help you feel a little better about tackling the weeks ahead. Remember: Valentine’s Day is really, well, a day. Get through those 24 hours, and you’ll be well on your way to bouncing back.

Remember that grief is totally normal. 

Would we want to be the kind of people who are completely unaffected by a loss like that? No! We want to be sensitive, compassionate, caring people. Sometimes, that means when bad things happen, we feel bad — and that’s okay. That’s healthy. If you’re feeling down in the dumps, cut yourself some slack and give yourself the time and space you need to get through the breakup aftermath.

Go on a vacation.

Now that you are not in a relationship you have more freedom and you can save for a vacation. Embark on a journey and be truly free.  Enjoy yourself while you can, meet new interesting people and be part of an adventure. By the time you do this Valentine’s Day would be out of your mind and it would be just another day.

Spend time with your mother. 

A mother is every child’s support system. No matter how much of a grown-up you are there will always be times when you get tired of the world and just want to talk to your mother. Have an adult conversation with her, and get some solid tips on moving forward. One day, this will all be a distant memory that you’ll be cracking up about as well.

Hangout with your best friends. 

Your best friends will always help you get through a breakup. Assemble them for a fun sleepover or for a karaoke night. Having fun with them will make you forget the complications and disappointment for once. You can cry on their shoulders and for once even forget about Valentine’s Day.

Be a smart consumer of social media.

Most of us could probably take this hint 365 days of the year regardless of our relationship status, but if it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re recovering from a recent breakup, it’s all the more important. Take it easy on the Instagram scrolling and Facebook stalking. You don’t need to be confronted with sappy Valentine’s Day posts and couple pics while you’re trying to heal your heart. You get inundated with people looking like their life is better than it is. Nobody’s real-life looks much like their life looks on social media. It’s really important to keep that in mind.

Don’t make the breakup more complicated just because of the timing. 

If you had real feelings for your ex the breakup was going to be a challenge whether it happened in February, June, or October — so try not to assign additional significance or sentimentality to the situation simply because it all went down so close to February 14. Approach the aftermath of this split just as you would any other breakup at any other time. Do your best to think of Valentine’s Day as just another day (you definitely won’t be the only one!), and take your grief one day at a time.

End your Valentine’s Day by taking care of yourself. Run a bubble bath, bundle up in your footie-pyjamas, and turn on your guilty pleasure television show. Buy yourself chocolates and eat them while watching television and enjoy your company.

If you’re still thinking about your ex at the end of the day, write down your thoughts in a journal. It’s better to get them out on paper rather than to have them cause chaos in your brain.

Lastly, don’t feel guilty or bad about missing your ex. It’s perfectly normal to want that intimate and romantic relationship back. You will move on and feel better, so give yourself time. Talk to your friends, focus on your own well-being, and make this Valentine’s Day about you.

Online Counseling Askmile