Get out of the rut! Add zing into your marriage!

Monotony is boring! Has your relationship become predictable? Do you keep doing the same things every day? Are weekends dreadful, since they are full of chores? When was the last time you enjoyed yourself, felt alive and totally connected with your partner?

Aruna Rathod


If you find yourself bored at the thought of spending time with your partner, think again. Why? Is it that you have become ‘housekeeping’ partners and caretakers for the children and home? Without realising it, we slip into the roles of parents and become less available as partners for each other.

It’s normal to settle into routine, but is it a monotonous rut? Then you need to stir up some action.

Get going. Don’t just think about how it would be go away for one weekend with your partner. Be spontaneous. Don’t look for excuses to not do it. Take a break from your routine and add some fun element into it. It could be something as simple as going for a night drive or a lunch date with your partner.

Ask yourself what excites you? Is it a music concert or a trek? Does your partner enjoy what you enjoy, if yes, get the bookings done or seek a trekking route. It will get you both active and excited.

You could also do enrol your partner for an activity that he loves doing so that would refresh him/her, to show that you care. This would set off a spark of romance on both sides.

Cook a meal that was once your favourite – maybe she loves pasta but there’s not enough time to cook it, make it for her – surprise her. Buy flowers for the home, write a love note, make a list of movies that your partner can choose from and watch it together after dinner. Make this into a weekly or fortnightly routine. Savour these moments and enjoy one another.

Talk about the good times in the past – since you have spent so much time together, there would be some awesome memories – visit those. Your first trip abroad, your driving holiday, tough situations you overcame together. It will definitely create moments of bonding.

Make a plan, for the weekend, for holidays and maybe two years from the present moment. It sets the mood, it does get exciting to plan and look forward to spending time doing things you love.

Buy some smart clothes for weekends together and of course, some fancy undergarments to surprise your partner! Talk about sex, it definitely is arousing to discuss it with your partner. It creates an anticipation and both of you will look forward to the moment.

If weekends are tough and there are too many chores to do, employ help to come in once a month, so that the pressure is eased on you both. Use the following weekend to unwind, once the extra chores are done by someone else.

The beauty is that you did share something special and that’s why you are together. It’s just that things get into a rut. It takes a little effort to get back into a ‘romantic’ mode, but make it happen. It’s worth the effort.  Do this as often as possible, or make it happen once in six months to a year, depending on time, finances and availability.

Stick to a routine, but don’t get into a rut.


Online Counseling Askmile