Getting over a breakup 101

Letting go

In the current scenario of today’s relationships, the foundation of each relationship is not only built by feelings, attraction and connection but also a whip of fear of a potential breakup. This is often the result of uncertain possibilities which puts an individual in the shackles of fear of separation. But when the mere blur possibilities turn into a hard hitting reality, is the time when understanding and coping with reality often sits on the back burner. When the intense tide of emotions arises inside you, and you think you will think that you will always remain miserable, sad and without love, go through the following set of points for as many times and as long as you need.

Getting over a breakup 101:

Allowing the emotions to flow. Accepting the fact that it is absolutely okay to feel the way you are feeling. Break-up is also a kind of loss and it is essential to let the reality sink in. Stopping yourself from crying will only lead to penting up of anger and other negative emotions. It is okay to feel vulnerable and mourn your loss.

Giving yourself space. It is very important to give yourself some attention and space. When an individual is in a relationship, he/she tends to share the space and attention with their partner. It might feel that something is missing, but remember that you are complete within yourself. Give yourself time to cope, to feel and to heal. Time is the biggest healer they say. And it couldn’t be truer.

Share your pain with a closed one.  Be it a friend or family member, confide with them. Talking and sharing is often the best way to express and soothe yourself. A visit to a therapist or taking help of Online Counselling will help you deal with the break up.

Letting go off any bitterness or negative emotions. Any unwanted emotions do more harm than good. Let them go.

– One of the most important thing that will help you tremendously is cutting off absolutely any contact you might have. Deleting phone number if you might feel a great amount of urge to call or text your partner. Also, deleting any form of social media contact with your partner will help you recover. This also includes the “No Stalking” policy!

Getting rid of things that keep reminding you of your partner. Discarding or donating the gifts, memories and keepsakes will help you by not being constantly being reminders of the attached memory.

Changing your environment can help with the heartbreak a great deal. If you can, go for a short vacation, change or move your furniture a little, add a little change here and there in your life in any way you can.

Pamper yourself. With spa, haircut, beauty treatment, make over, whatever you feel like. Also, keep yourself busy. An idle mind will keep rewinding memories making you feel blue.

  • Develop a new hobby. Or rekindle your old ones. Learn new things and experiment. You always wanted to learn guitar, do it! You always wanted to join salsa dance class, do it! Keep yourself bust in learning things you always wished to.
  • Something that cannot be ignored. Go for a jog, join a gym, attend a peaceful yoga class or a high energy Zumba class. Do whatever resonates with you. This, is the time when you can completely focus on the health of your mind and body.
  • Start socialising more and making new friends.
  • Remind yourself of all the beautiful things in your life you are grateful for.

-Be careful of not getting into a rebound or another relationship in a haste to want to forget about your previous partner. Give yourself enough time to heal before being ready for love again.

Letting go
Moving on

As difficult as break ups can be, it always leaves us with bittersweet memories and lessons to be remembered for a lifetime. One always comes out stronger from all the experiences and heart breaks one faces. It might be too idealistic to see on the bright side at the moment but you emerge out as an ultimate winner. A person who is strong, happy, independent and complete in themselves.

Do not shy away from seeking professional help in times of need. There are various online counselling sites such as that provide free and anonymous counselling services that focus on marriage and relationship issues.

Online Counseling Askmile