Valentine’s day is a day that celebrates love. With dating no longer being a taboo, what can we say is the new definition of love in today’s day and age? With dating Apps growing in popularity, some new rules of dating and love have emerged. While certain rules have changed, Love remains the same but society has changed the parameters. Social media has made ‘meeting’ up easier, resulting in more dating and an ‘open’ approach to relationships. We explore the new rules of love.
Susan Winter, New York- based relationship expert and author explores the new definition of love exclusively for askmile.com. “In spite of so many definitions changing to suit the times in which we live, our definition of LOVE hasn’t changed. We realize that love is something vastly different than dating, or sex. Sex is easy. Intimacy is challenging. That’s why Love has become so difficult to attain these days,” says Winter.
The definition of Love is the same as it’s always been. “It’s ‘us’ who’re changing as we evolve to access this place of emotional purity within ourselves. Love is the merging of two souls. It’s the instinct to transcend our selfish needs and place our partner’s wellbeing as a priority. It’s the desire to see the best in our mate, when we clearly recognize their flaws,” she adds.
Modern society and love
Winter believes that it could be some segments of society that have tried to reduce love in an effort to make it more achievable. “If you can’t find the quality of love you seek, the choice may be to ask for less and call that love. Or, love may be the term applied to validate a tryst so that it can have context and meaning,” she explains.
One of the more irritating rules, Winter believes, that’s occurred in modern society is that sex comes before emotional intimacy. “By using sex as the starting point (rather than the endpoint), love gets difficult to find amidst the mutual confusion. At one point in history, ‘dating’ meant ‘to court.’ Now it’s the polite acknowledgment of ‘having sex’ with another person,” she adds.
Beware of too much virtual communication
While it’s easier to date with new Apps, don’t forget that it’s just a means of initiation. It can take care of step one. Technology at our fingertips is a good thing, but not for couples. While it’s great to be connected, it can also lead to a disconnect between partners. The general complaint that most psychologists face from couples is ‘He/She is constantly glued to the phone”. Addiction to the internet is one of the new age addictions and sad part is that it is available to almost everyone on the move because of mobile handsets.
This Valentine’s day go out, make that move, feel the need to make that personal commitment and experience Love. It’s in the air!!