Parenting

Whats wrong with us Indian mothers

whats-wrong-with-indian-moms-askmile

whats-wrong-with-indian-moms-askmile

“I am not an ambitious mom”, she said. “All i want for my kid is to be strong, independent and good. Smart with a sense of humor, compassionate and creative. Exuberant yet empathetic! Definitely an achiever, self assured, risk taker, disciplined, responsible and thankful.”

Hearing this i laugh, thank God for the sense of humor but does it not sound like its straight from a miss universe interview.. Did she leave out anything? World peace! I chuckle to myself.

Well, there are days i can’t even adult myself, forget the kiddo. I’m sure I’ve been known to spook my kid sometimes. I’ve had major panic attacks. And I’ve had fun but this. Maybe I take it too easy.

On second thoughts, No. I have never been a perfectionist but this sounds like a load of nonsense to be honest, as it should. If it wasn’t for the fact that 99.9 percent of parents would find nothing wrong with it, lets not forget that they wouldn’t measure up to these standards themselves though.

Kids are kids. They are born with personalities of their own and though you might be the Aamir khan of dangal when it comes to disciplining them but God help you if your daughter aspires to be “Happy Bhaag Jaegi”.

We live in an era where advice is too easily accessible. I’ve seen so many mothers who read everything on the internet. Mr. Google recently presented me with a magic number. This is the minimum no. of hugs a kid needs in a day. Like really!!!! Who am i to disagree though??

There are so many magic numbers these days anyway. How many hours of screen time is best, what to best watch in that allotted time, how many hours to study and how many to play. It also tells you why playing outside is mandatory, how sports teach you discipline and how important is unstructured playtime.

What to eat, where to go, what kind of lunchboxes to use, which kind of toys to buy and how to raise the EQ and IQ. As you teach them the importance of please and thank you’s.

Sorry sir, my kid just gets 24 of them in a day out of which more than a third are spent sleeping, another third at the school. And i really couldn’t conform to all the advice in the meagre 4 hours that I am left with, if i take off the eating and talking time.

How difficult is it to just let them be!! Help with homework and everyday stuff, read a bit and try and instill some basic values. This is the age when they fight with their friends, there’s nothing bad about confrontation as long as it isn’t violent. Something most adults shy away from these days.

They might be bunking class. Lets remember that’s its how we made the best memories of our school life and smile.
They might not be top rankers. Remember how much love the 1st rankers received from the rest of the students??

C’mon lets not judge them. Lets play instead. Have that rain shower, jump those muddy puddles, talk to them about the pranks they play. Tease them on the crush they have and in the process leave them with itty bitty pieces of meagre wisdom we have gathered through the years.

There are times, when we will find their words wiser and be open to the changing times. Nahhh we hand nothing over to them, the world is theirs to begin with, we are nothing but passers, one hand to the other. Lets not ask them to be perfect, instead try to be real.

Lets not teach them big words like rules responsibility and respect, instead do little deeds and let them learn from practice and love.

Let them go coz holding too tight will only smother them. Expectations are the scariest things, they can be fearsome and they can damage the parent as much as they damage the child. Let the copies suffer at times at the cost of crayons i say. Let the grades be. We need to change priorities, yell for the right things and im not talking curriculum here.

No, i do not need my child to be able to tick all of those boxes. I wouldn’t even like to be real friends with a person who checks all those boxes. They’d be frightfully boring n righteous.

I pray for my child and myself. I would like to pray for happiness, for health wealth and wisdom, and please put in a sense of humor God. I ask for no more.

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