Effective communication skills play a key role in avoiding clashes. Learn how to communicate better with your partner.
3 ways to boost your communication skills
The lack of intimacy has become an ever-increasing issue in many marriages and relationships that are causing them to fail at an alarming rate! Often women think that their husbands are not emotionally available and men think that their women are too demanding. The key lies in understanding where these differences of opinion are stemming from and the different ways in which both partners view the world.
Here are some cheat phrases that have transformed many marriages into the one you dreamed of when you said “I do.”
They’ve worked for thousands of women in 19 languages and 30 countries. Here are some you can experiment with:
1. Express your desires in a way that inspires
Sarah used to complain and expect her husband to fix whatever she was complaining about. She’d say, “John, this kitchen is a disaster,” and wait for him to jump up and start doing the dishes–which never happened.
Now she knows that men can’t even hear women when they’re complaining, but you can trigger his “hero gene” by expressing a desire so he knows what it is you want.
When she finally said “I would love a clean kitchen”, her husband said, “Okay, I’ll do the dishes.”
That was 17 years ago and Sarah’s husband has been doing them ever since.
2. Motivate him to take initiative
In their early marriage Sarah was responsible for everything– car maintenance, cleaning, paying bills–because she liked things done the right way: her way.
She thought she was being efficient, but she was also exhausted and resentful.
The cheat phrase that helped her stop taking over everything and demonstrate that she had faith in her husband’s abilities is, “Whatever you think.”
Kathy decided to use this phrase when her husband Doug asked her which cell phone plan she wanted him to sign up for. “Whatever you think,” she said as an experiment. Her husband was surprised and asked her again. She repeated, “Whatever you think. I trust you.”
Doug handled the decision, and that night put his hand on her shoulder and said, “You were so nice today.” Tears welled up in Kathy’s eyes and they slept in the same bed for the first time in six months. That was 16 years ago and she still gets emotional when she talks about how wonderful her marriage is.
3. Get more gifts, compliments and help
You may think your husband doesn’t give you many gifts, compliments or help, but it could be that he’s at a loss for how to please you.
Sarah was rejecting so many of my husband’s offerings that he gave up on making her happy. The task seemed impossible because she wasn’t pleaseable. You may also be unwittingly turning away the treatment you crave.
Have you argued with him for saying you looked hot when you had bed hair? Or criticized the presents he got you? Have you rejected his help with putting away the leftovers?
Consider making your mantra, “Receive, receive, receive!” Say only “thank you” when your husband offers his help, a compliment or a present. You’ll be surprised how quickly those offers multiply when he sees he can make you happy.
Even if your marriage seems hopeless, it can’t hurt to experiment with these and other Intimacy Skills to see what happens.
If you feel you are facing intimacy issues in your relationship and wish to do something about it, do not hesitate to get in touch with our relationship experts anonymously for free at Askmile.com.