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Feel happy texting another man despite being in a marriage

Asked by Female, 28, Married
Thank you being so helpful but i just wanna ask that us it completely wrong to be in touch with this guy. I cant explain i am happy when he texts me . Its a weird feeling. I actuslly miss him. He is not thd guy who is texting me whole day but when he pings me and just starts even a normal conversation , i am happy. Day by day we are developing a bond. Both knowing of our respective realities. Its not that i donot love my husband but slowly he has captured a small part of my life even staying in a diff country. Can a person love two people at the same time? I dont want to cheat on my husband, i know how it feels yo be betrayed but honestly i miss thiis guy if i stop being in touch with him. It disturbs my mind peace. Please tell me what to do
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Indu Padmakumar
Counselling Psychologist and Special Educator

Dear friend,
I'd like to appreciate you for trying to face your problem and trying to help yourself. It takes a lot of courage to do that.

I know you're going through a difficult time right now.
You're torn apart what what you want and what you feel is right.

From what you've told me, I understand that you know what it feels like to be cheated on and the emotional damage it can cause to the other person.

So you know to some extent that even harmless texting can hurt the other person involved.
Although it may not be completely wrong to text someone, it's more about how you feel about the person you're texting everyday.

If you have feelings for this person, and you want to get over these feelings, it's probably not a good idea to keep reminding yourself of him and texting him.

But ultimately the decision lies with you.
Ask yourself what you want and what would make you happy.

You probably wrote to us because of the mental anguish and guilt that you felt.
It seems like talking to both people seems to be hurting you more.
To avoid that, it would probably be better to introspect and ask yourself who you really want to be with.

Let's continue this session over private chat.
Do write us back.
Take care and be strong :)

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