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I feel my husband is cheating on me.

Asked by Female, 29, Married
I have trust issues with my spouse. I want to believe he doesn't cheat on me but lately he has been lying a lot Nd staying out late night in the name of helping his friend and his fiance with their relationship issues. I have only met these friends once and know about their issues through my husband but 2 days ago at 3 in the morning he brought his friends fiance home. Both were in a drunk state. My spouse said he couldn't leave her on the road in this state late in the night and decided to bring her home. I was very upset and walked out. I returned only after he sent her away in the morning. I feel terribly broken. I am 7 months pregnant and very stressed. I don't know what to believe. Should i trust him ?
Answer
Thumb sneha jayagopal
Sneha
Psychotherapist

Dear Writer, thank you for writing in. Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy although it had been a stressful one. I understand you are struggling to trust your husband even though he may not have cheated on you. I think considering your state you naturally expect and hope that your husband would want to spend more time with you. Can you tell me whether it has always been like this or if your husband's constant socialising more recent? Can you tell me what his reaction to your pregnancy was? Answering these questions will help me understand your situation better.
To get to the heart of the matter, I think you are feeling incredibly left out and sidelined by your husband. His active social life and friend circle of which you are not a part of leaves you feeling unimportant. Not feeling valued enough can make you question your trust.
I think if your husband managed to balance out his social life and spend time with you, perhaps you wouldn't feel this upset. You are going through a very important period in your life and understandably you want your husband to be a willing part of it and you want it to be special. I wonder if it makes you angry with your husband that he's missing out and doesn't realise it.
What it seems like you are in need of is to feel like you matter, you are loved and enjoy your pregnancy.
It might also help to talk to your husband and find out what's going on. How he feels about the coming baby and if there are any anxieties about the change your lives will experience?
Please do message back to continue our discussion and let know what you think. Regards

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