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My husband wants me to resign my job and take care of our kids, but I don't want to leave the job!

Asked by Female, 30, Married
I am working woman and have 2 kids. My husband is insisting me to resign my job and take care of kids at home. Currently my parents are taking care of my kids which he does not like at all. His parents are not in position to take care of kids. I am trying to convince in all aspects but all in vain. Currently we are separated because of above issue. He is emotionally telling kids are getting spoiled because of me. What I am suppose to do. I don't want to resign and want to be together.
Thumb komal
Counseling Psychologist

I see that you are caught between your marriage, taking care of your kids and your job. I understand that you must be finding this unfair for your husband to make you choose between your career and your home. It is not an easy position to be in and it is certainly unpleasing.

Well, a marriage is a union between two people willing to be in it together and build a future together. It seems as if though he wants you to bring up the children and not your parents and it gets difficult to do so while on a full time job. Regardless, you have a right to make your own life choices and it seems as if this has become a deciding factor in your relationship.

The only two options that I see here are to talk to him about a mutual agreement that you both can come up with in a way that it does not look enforced upon the other. Try approaching him by saying "I understand that you do not want me to keep my job, but I'd like you to understand why I need to. And if raising our kids is the concern here, then let's talk about figuring out ways to do it together that would not involve me having to make a choice between two equally important things in my life. I love you and want to be with you and the kids, and I want us to go through this together".

As much as it is your duty and responsibility to raise the kids, it is equally his duty and responsibility too. You are both their parents. And I'm afraid that trying your best is the best you can do and despite all efforts if your husband is not even willing to consider things, it might be time for you to make a choice after all. Perhaps going for couple's therapy would help you both resolve our differences and prepare for handling future instances equipped in a better manner.

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