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"Relationship that was on for 10 years has faced a toll due to trust issues"

Asked by Female, 28, Single
Hello, I have been in a relationship with a guy for the past 10 years. He happens to be one of my closest friends. While we have strong feelings for each other, he had made it very clear much before that we may not have a future together due to his family's stand against inter-caste marriages. A month back, I was tested positive for pregnancy and learnt that I had suffered a miscarriage in my 4th-5th week. While this was extremely distressing to me, what caused me mental trauma was through this whole mess, I had to handle it alone. Since we are in different states, initially for a few days he did extend his support through calls and chats, but the toll of hormonal medicines made me extremely emotional and erratic, and I started having suicidal thoughts. During this time he started getting annoyed with me and my behavior and went to great lengths to avoid me. I consider myself to be well educated but it shattered me to my core to realize I had made such a faulty judgment of character. He comes from a well-knit caring family. It still eats me inside out to think how can such a person care so less for someone whom he claimed to love and shun away from his responsibility so easily. Do I actually have a reason to feel so negative, bitter and depressed or am I just expecting a bit much? I am not even sure how to get out of this muck of self-loathing that I have developed. I feel extremely betrayed, cheated and abandoned. Kindly help
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Nisha Bothra
Counselling Psychologist

Hi there. I am so sorry that you had to go through this phase without much support. I hope you have recovered from the physical trauma. As for the emotional suffering, I see that it has not only hurt and angered you, but has also made you doubt yourself. Sometimes when we are extremely stressed and do not find adequate support and means to cope, we get overwhelmed and develop negative thought patterns. Before I can help you further, please answer the following questions:

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